Good Morning, Monster: A Therapist Shares Five Heroic Stories of Emotional Recovery

Peter explains that his father shared his love of music and, Peter learned, came from a musical family of which Peter’s mother disapproved. Like Peter, he can sight read and play from ear. One day, Peter’s mother destroyed all of her husband’s records and Peter’s toy piano when she returns from work, angry that the two are enjoying leisure time while her daughter performs beadwork. Peter recalls a later incident when his father took him to a shopping mall and stole a synthesizer which he gave to Peter. Police accompany them home, where Peter’s sister gives them money for the instrument and no charges are pressed. Peter’s mother, however, is so enraged by the event that she beats Peter’s father until he experiences a heart attack and dies. Peter sees his father stealing the instrument as a sign of his love for Peter.

Peter goes on to be a successful musician, although he does not focus much on the money aspect of the business. Gildiner believes that the inhibition of Peter’s development as a child and his resultant lack of ego are causing his impotence. Because his mother did not provide him with a strong sense of self, he had grown up defenseless against the risk and pain of emotional attachments. Gildiner believes Peter to have an attachment disorder, as a result of his mother’s neglect in providing him a safe space. To help Peter understand this, Gildiner shows him a film of a famous experiment done by psychologist Harry Harlow in which a baby monkey attaches to fake “mother” monkeys made of wire and cloth. Peter quickly recognizes himself in the “maternally deprived” (103) monkey, and, as Gildiner shows him additional films of the monkeys showing their impeded development, understands that this deprivation is what causes him to be unable to attach intimately with another person.

Peter meets a woman named Melanie who is a bartender at a club where Peter’s band performs for a week. She shows interest in Peter, but he moves slowly, going on dates without putting himself in situations where sex will be expected. Eventually, Melanie gives up on Peter. Peter, at Gildiner’s instruction, begins recording his dreams, all which reveal his fear of being out of control.

Three years into therapy, Peter, his mother, and his sister visit his young niece (who has been burned by a stove) in the hospital. Peter’s mother laughs manically at the burn patients, and a nurse orders her to leave. Peter, too, admonishes her, then later goes to her house to speak to her about her own childhood. He learns that his maternal grandmother had been a “second wife” when the family lived in Vietnam—a role akin to a mistress or concubine. In this role, it was expected that the “husband” would provide financial support, but no children would result from the relationship. When Peter’s mother was born of this relationship, her father abandoned her mother, who resorted to running a brothel and opium den. There, men would pay to burn the sex workers with cigarettes for sexual pleasure. Gildiner points out the parallels to this and the hospital burn unit where his mother had laughed. Peter comes to recognize how his mother regarded locking him in the attic not as abusive but as keeping him safe from harm. He comes to understand that his mother’s judgments of him stem not from his own failings and shortcomings, but from her own childhood trauma.

Gildiner discusses with Peter how he might be able to improve the interactions with his mother; he has explained that his sister has successfully stood up against their mother’s criticism in the past, and now her mother treats the sister differently. She points out that, while he cannot change his mother, he can control his responses to her criticism. Peter begins walking out when his mother criticizes him and is surprised when his sister and her husband come to his defense, insisting to Peter’s mother that they too will not tolerate her judgment and cruelty of him. With time, he shapes his mother’s behavior by not tolerating her abuse.

Peter learns to be more assertive with others in his life, including a member of his band, named Donnie, who bullies Peter and asks another band member, Jake, to help Donnie hide his marital infidelity. When Peter discovers Donnie has not paid Jake accurately, Jake ends his involvement in the band.

Peter befriends Amanda, the recent ex-wife of Donnie. He gives piano lessons to Amanda’s daughter and Amanda cooks meals for Peter. Peter worries that Amanda will want the relationship to progress physically, but they proceed as friends and an emotional bond forms. Amanda reveals to Peter that she, too, struggles with sexual intimacy after experiencing sexual abuse earlier in her life. With time, they are able to develop a successful sexual relationship.

Peter’s mother disapproves of his dating a woman who is not Chinese, and Peter says he will move out if her insults and criticisms continue. When she continues, Peter moves out of the apartment building (which is owned by his mother). Peter is eventually able to terminate therapy, though he and Gildiner keep in touch and Peter keeps her informed of his successful musical career. Like Laura, Peter indicates that he would not change his past, were he able, crediting it for making him who he is and instilling in him his love of the piano.