Give and Take: A Revolutionary Approach to Success

Grant compares two websites with two different systems of exchange: Craigslist and Freecycle. Craigslist, a site where users can buy and sell items, operates on a transactional basis, whereas Freecycle is based on a system of giving and receiving items for free. Grant examines the norms of reciprocity on both sites as well as the degree to which participants on the sites identify with the sites’ communities. He finds that, of the participants who either bought or received many items, those who used Freecycle identified more strongly with the site’s community compared to those who used Craigslist. This is because, in a system of generalized giving, items are given as gifts rather than in a transactional manner, which emotionally lends the exchange greater value. Moreover, members who participate in generalized giving perceive their gifts as coming from a community rather than a transactional exchange with an individual.

Grant introduces what he calls “the altruism debate,” which focuses on the question of why humans give to others (219). On one end of the debate is C. Daniel Baston, who argues that humans are capable of pure altruism and that people give to others out of empathy and a sense of oneness. On the other end is Robert Cialdini, who thinks that humans act generously toward others when they want to relieve their own guilt or pain. Grant believes in a “middle ground”: that humans give for a mix of reasons—a combination of self-interest and other-interest (222).

Grant argues that people are more likely to identify with, and act generously toward, people they share common ground with. He explains the concept of “optimal distinctiveness,” which refers to the psychological need for individuals to balance their desire for inclusion in a group with their desire for differentiation as an individual. People tend to feel most strongly connected to those with whom they share a unique identity. Grant supports this by citing studies such as one in which researchers told pairs of people that they shared a rare type of fingerprint; these people were then more likely to act generously toward each other. Another study noted the same effect with soccer fans; fans were more likely to help someone wearing the jersey of their favorite team rather than someone who wore a plain shirt or an opposing team’s jersey.

In recounting his time as a professor at Wharton, Grant shares the concept of the “reciprocity ring,” a group activity where participants take turns asking for help or support from the group. He says that this activity fosters a sense of community and encourages generosity among participants, nudging all participants toward more of a giving reciprocity style.