Geek Love

“They thought to use and shame me but I win out by nature, because a true freak cannot be made. A true freak must be born.” 

At the striptease audition at the Glass House Club, Oly is pulled on stage and urged to take off her clothes. She does so not with shame, as the crowd expects, but instead with pride, showing off her deformities. She will not be made to feel like she is less because of her differences. By making the crowd unable to look away, she has won the encounter.

“A carnival in daylight is an unfinished beast, anyway. Rain makes it a ghost. The wheezing music from the empty, motionless rides in a soft, rained-out afternoon midway always hits my chest with a sweet ache. The colored dance of the lights in the seeping air flashed the puddles in the sawdust with an oily glamour.”

This passage conveys Oly’s love for the Fabulon. It is most alive at night, when the lights are on, customers fill the midway, and everything feels magical, but Oly loves it even on a day when the rain has forced the carnival to be canceled. This description also shows Dunn’s poetic style of writing.

“Can’t anyone but me see what he is? What he’ll do to us? He’ll end up smashing this whole family like an egg if we’re not careful.” 

Oly criticizes Arty for having sabotaged Al’s plan to run his gambling scam with Chick, saying that doing so was an affront to the family. Arty, in despair, tries to convince Oly that Chick is genuinely dangerous because of his powers. Arty wants Oly to understand that he is not acting out of jealousy of Chick, but because he fears that word will get out about Chick’s powers and the family will be locked away by the government.

“The twins are true freaks. Chick is a miracle. Me? I’m just an industrial accident! But I made it into something—me!...I’m the oldest, the son […] This whole show is mine, the whole family […] Before me the whole place was falling apart. I’m the one who got us back on the road. When Papa goes it’ll be me.”

Arty grows angry that Oly cannot understand how hard he feels he must strive and study so that he learns enough to make a place for himself in the world. Arty feels that he deserves all the success he’s had with his show because he has worked so hard to achieve it. Simply being limbless is not unique and those like him are often institutionalized and forgotten. His real gift is his intelligence, but that is not a trait that can be put on display. In addition, he is the oldest living child in the family and believes he should be considered the heir to the carnival.

“It is, I suppose, the common grief of children at having to protect their parents from reality. It is bitter for the young to see what awful innocence adults grow into, that terrible vulnerability that must be sheltered from the rodent mire of childhood.”

Oly mourns the loss of innocence she feels when Arty “bests” Al and shows that he has become the new boss of the family and the carnival. The older Binewski children are growing up and supplanting their parents, though the parents do not yet realize this change is occurring. Oly wishes to spare her parents this pain, common to all children as they exchange positions with their parents in life.

“The hope you get from religion is a three-ring, all-star hope because the risk is outrageous […] I’ve got the amazing part down. And the scary bits are a snap. But I’ve got to come up with a hope.”

Arty spends a great deal of time developing his understanding of human nature, which eventually leads to Arturism. Here, he discusses his observations with Oly. Arty’s beginning to realize what made the carnival successful, and by extension, how he could be more successful in his act. He says that people pay money to be amazed and scared, and visiting the carnival gratifies them in both. They also pay to feel hope, and the carnival gives them that as well: hope of winning a prize, or meeting a partner, or impressing their friends by hitting a bullseye. Hope works best when there’s risk involved, risk that what you hope for won’t come to pass, so the bigger the risk, the bigger the surge of gratification when what you hope for is realized. Arty comes to understand that this is a function of religion, because the risk is so great that the payoff is enormous. Arty feels that he has the ability to amaze and scare the audience, but he is still figuring out a way to give them hope. 

“People talk easily to me. They think a bald albino hunchback can’t hide anything. My worst is all out in the open. It makes it necessary for people to tell you about themselves […] Just being visible is my biggest confession, so they try to set me at ease by revealing our equality, by dragging out their own less-apparent deformities […] They stretch out their dampest secrets because a creature like me has no virtues or morals […] I listen eagerly, warmly, because I care. They tell me everything eventually.”

Oly explains why people like Mary Lick find it easy to confide in Oly. Oly’s deformities are observable on the outside, so people believe that is the worst part about her. They are uncomfortable looking at her deformities, so they feel they must even out their positions by sharing something dark or ugly about themselves, to lessen their discomfort. They think Oly must be in no position to judge or find fault with them, due to her outward appearance. This gives Oly the opportunity to find out things about Miss Lick that she needs to know in order to protect Miranda.

“If all these pretty women could shed the traits that made men want them (their prettiness) then they would no longer depend on their own exploitability but would use their talents and intelligence to become powerful.” 

Miss Lick makes it her life’s work to pay young women to mutilate themselves, so that they will no longer be sexually attractive to men. She sees sexual attractiveness as the means by which women are exploited by men. If they are freed of this exploitability, these women can use their natural talents and intelligence to realize their full potential.

“I can’t tell you what it means to me each time they clean a little more away, even a little toe. Once it’s gone I feel what a weight of rot it was for me. Oh, Aqua Man, you are so kind to me. I thank the stars in heaven for leading me to you.” 

Alma Witherspoon, Arty’s first follower and the founder of what becomes Arturism, was a sad, obese woman who hated her looks and was deeply unhappy. She spent her time being a pen pal to incarcerated inmates, looking for love and acceptance. Alma is the first to feel that by becoming like Arty through the loss of her body parts, she is closer to the revered enlightenment that she believes Arty possesses. She spreads the idea of this worship to others who share her secret pain, those who have been waiting for some kind of relief from the emptiness and heartache in their lives. This leads directly to the growth of Arty’s cult.

“Iphy, listen. He wouldn’t have hugged us anyway. They are never going to want to hug us or cuddle up afterward. They are always going to get right out of the bed and zip up still wet and go away.” 

Elly arranges for the twins to sell their first sexual experience to a visitor to the carnival. Iphy is distraught, since she had hoped the loss of her virginity would be more special, more meaningful than an act of prostitution. Iphy worries that she hurt the man’s feelings by crying and pushing him away. Elly explains to her that no norm is ever going to treat them romantically. Elly knows that men are always going to view sex with her and Iphy as a novelty, one they will pay dearly for, but they are going to leave immediately once the act is over, with no emotional ties to the girls. Iphy had always had dreams of romance, but Elly knows that conjoined twins are never going to be thought of in those terms.

“I get glimpses of the horror of normalcy. Each of these innocents on the street is engulfed by a terror of their own ordinariness. They would do anything to be unique.” 

This is a quote from Arty recorded by Sanderson in his notes. Arty spends a good deal of time talking to Sanderson and explaining his philosophy. Here is another example of how the Binewskis embrace their differences, believing that their difference is their strength and what makes them superior to norms. In this quote, Arty believes that norms secretly yearn to be unique by any means. This is part of the appeal of Arturism.

“ARTURISM: A quasi-cult making no representations of a god or gods, and having nothing to say about life after death. The cult represents itself as offering earthly sanctuary from the aggravations of life.” 

This is also an entry in Sanderson’s notes. The reporter exerts a tremendous effort in trying to understand Arturism. He studies every aspect of the organization in great detail, as well as the those of the carnival as a whole. Here, Sanderson puts out a concise definition of Arturism. It’s not really a religion, not in the traditional sense. Its appeal comes from finding the hole in people’s lives and filling it with something that feels like what they’ve been searching for. Sanderson eventually realizes that Arturism gives him what he needs as well, and he joins their ranks.

“I want the losers who know they’re losers. I want those who have a choice of tortures and pick me […] we’ve got a Fully Blessed roll of 750 in three years and another 5,000 who have worked past their first ten digits. You got to figure there’s something going on here. We’ve got something folks want.” 

Here, Arty encapsulates why Arturism is so successful. The organization does not use gimmicks. It doesn’t brainwash and isolate its members like other cults. Arty wants his followers to remain in touch with what’s going on in the outside world. He wants them to always have a choice, which is why amputations are done progressively, rather than all at once, like Dr. Phyllis wants. Arty firmly believes that given the choice, people will choose his way. His large number of followers supports his view.

“I was not amazed. It seemed unremarkable that if you failed to murder someone you should become that person’s guardian slave. The Bag Man worshiped Arty.”

It might seem curious that Arty would allow the man who had tried to kill him and his siblings to work for him. Vern Bogner is a very different person as the Bag Man. He suffered tremendously and went through a great transition, and Arty recognizes this. Arty knows that the Bag Man is no longer a threat and will serve him unconditionally. The Bag Man accepts that his old way of life was wrong and that he survived to order to serve Arty. Oly doesn’t find this strange at all, perhaps because she’s been accustomed to people worshiping Arty.

“Iphy’s eyes opened calmly and I had an uncomfortable feeling that we had been wrong, that Iphy was the strong one.”

Oly and the rest of the family, with the possible exception of Arty, had always assumed that between the twins, Elly was the strong one and Iphy was weak. When Arty, suspecting that the twins are up to something, sends the Bag Man to guard them, Elly becomes hysterical and wants to run away. Iphy is the voice of reason, reminding Elly that this is impossible. Oly realizes that perhaps she had been wrong about the twins’ true personalities, an idea that is supported later, when other tragedies befall the twins.

“Death is not mysterious […] But this real mystery I have never touched […] I suspect that, even if I had begun as a norm, the saw-toothed yearning that whirls in me would bend me […] so only my red eyes would blink out glimpses of the furnace thing inside.”

Oly discusses how the usual mysteries of life, like death, never bothered her. Sex was the true mystery to her, one that she thinks often about as the twins express their independence by using their sexuality. Oly feels desire inside her, but no one has ever taught her about what sex would mean for her. Arty and the twins were schooled in how to build desire in others in their show acts, but Oly never experienced anything like that. Present-day Oly feels that sex was never meant for her, even if she had been a norm. Providing evidence for this is that Oly’s daughter, Miranda, is conceived without intercourse. 

“I didn’t try to push him. It had struck me hard that he didn’t need me, that he could shut me out permanently and completely and never miss me. He had all those others dancing for him. For me there was only Arty.”

When Oly tries to defy Arty regarding his plans for the twins, she is chagrined to find that she cannot tolerate his rejection. She cannot bear being barred from seeing him and taking care of him. While he has multitudes eager to serve him, the only person Oly truly needs in her life is Arty. This is a difficult realization for Oly, since it’s a terrible thought that no matter what egregious things Arty did, even to members of the family, she would continue to want and need his presence in her life. 

“General opinion on Arty varies, from those who see him as a profound humanitarian to […] a ruthless reptile […] Watching Arty pine for Iphy, however, I come to see him as just a regular Joe—jealous, bitter, possessive, competitive, in a constant frenzy to disguise his lack of self-esteem […] utterly unable to prevent himself from gorging on the coals of hell in his search for revenge.”

This passage is from Sanderson’s notes. Sanderson has seen firsthand how Arty is viewed by others, including how his own assessment of Arty has evolved. After the surgery on Elly, and Iphy’s profound change because of it, Sanderson sees how at heart, Arty is like everyone else. All the human qualities that Arty has concealed from his followers are still in him and come out in his sadness and grief over Iphy. His human qualities were what had made him seek to separate Elly from Iphy in the first place, and he is brought low emotionally by the consequences. Arty is not a god; he is a man who wanted love he could not have.

“There are those whose own vulgar normality is so apparent and stultifying that they strive to escape it […] Then there are those who feel their own strangeness and are terrified by it. They struggle towards normalcy […] These are the true freaks, who appear, almost always, conventional and dull.” 

This is another quote from Arty from Sanderson’s notes. Here, Arty is explaining how people have traditionally tried to overcome normality. He says they try to escape by appearing flamboyant and eccentric. Others, however, sense that they do not conform to society’s ideas of what is normal, which terrifies them, forcing them to suppress their differences. To whatever extent they are not able to hide their internal aberrations from others or convince themselves that those aberrations do not exist, they suffer and lash out at those whose differences are externally apparent. These are “true freaks,” like Vern Bogner, who tried to fight against his inner demons by shooting the Binewski children.

“It wasn’t for me, the stammering hilarity of Papa and Lil, or even the helpless, dribbling lust of the Bag Man rocked by the twins […] I have wallowed in grief for the lonesome, deliberate seep of my love into the air like the smell of uneaten popcorn greening to rubbery staleness. In the end I would always pull up with a sense of glory, that loving is the strong side.”

Oly contemplates love and romance in this passage, knowing that she was not meant for such an experience. Her pregnancy had nothing to do with sexual desire or a romantic relationship. No one, including Arty, was ever going to feel that way about her, which separated her from the experience of her parents when they fell in love, or even how the Bag Man loved the twins. Oly mourns the lack of a reciprocal love that others experience, but she believes that there is no real point in being loved in return. True strength comes from being the source of love, not the object.

“Understand, daughter, that the only reason for your existing was as a tribute to your uncle-father […] You would be his monument and his fortress against mortality. Forgive me. As soon as you arrived I realized that you were worth far more than that.”

Oly addresses Miranda in this passage. The reason Oly seeks to become pregnant is to produce a child for Arty, as a gift to him, to express her never-ending devotion to him. She wants to produce another person who will love Arty, after Oly is gone. Oly expects to teach her child how to serve and worship Arty as she does. Once Miranda is born, Oly is shocked to learn how much her feelings change. Now, Miranda is the focal point of her life, not Arty, and Oly will do anything to protect her.

“His weakness and his ravening bitter needs were terrible […] but his needing and the hurt it caused me were the most life I have ever had. Remember what a poor thing I have always been and forgive me.” 

Oly addresses Miranda further in this passage. Oly tries to explain herself, and explain why she acted as she did. She enabled Arty and helped him do terrible things that she did not want to do, and later regretted, because she could not refuse him. Her justification for her actions and feelings is that even though her elevation of Arty as the most important element in her life seems incomprehensible to her, even in the present day, all she knows is that when he turned his attention to her, when he needed her, she felt more alive than at any other time. 

“Time is a rap on the ear with a brass knuckle. I’ve been letting it ride. Having my little cake—chummy with Miranda over tea, chummy with Miss Lick over home movies—snuggling down in a thick-headed fantasy that what little I was doing would make the difference, as if putting across the lie was success.”

When Miranda reveals that her surgery is scheduled, Oly abruptly realizes that she has been enjoying her friendship with Miss Lick so much that she had put out of her mind the fact that she had initiated their relationship so that she could kill Miss Lick. Oly has been subconsciously justifying her lack of murderous action by hoping that the charade she has been perpetuating, including living in a new apartment and taking swimming lessons, would somehow put the surgery threat to a halt. Oly recognizes that she’s been lying to herself and the time has come to go through with her initial intentions.