Fifty Words for Rain

“Truthfully, it had become painfully obvious that Akira could have whatever he wanted. If he asked for the moon, her grandmother would probably find a way to bring it to him.”

Akira is the Kamiza golden boy—the ideal legitimate male heir. This is why Yuko dotes on him. While Akira’s special status separates him from Nori, it also becomes a useful tool: Akira can advocate for Nori in ways she cannot, and Yuko, desiring his loyalty, cannot refuse him. This quote highlights the theme of Women’s Powerlessness in Patriarchal Societies since the Kamiza family dynamics privilege the male heir.

“‘You are not an American, Noriko,’ he whispered, slowly and clearly. ‘You are one of us.’”

Akira says this to Nori when she is wondering whether her father’s nationality makes her a foreigner in Japan, too. His statement is significant because he is the only person who acknowledges that Nori is Japanese and a part of the Kamiza family rather than alienating and othering her. His declaration of her nationality also references the complex social, cultural, and political dynamics of the US Occupation period in post-World War II Japan after, particularly the conflicts between Japanese citizens and the US military. By calling Nori Japanese, Akira is telling her that he accepts her completely.

“Her mother hadn’t given her up so that Nori could improve herself. Leaving her wasn’t designed to teach her a lesson or to make her ‘good.’

It wasn’t about Nori being perfect. It was about her being gone.

Without Nori, her mother could be free. She could be beautiful and free. No more shame, no more struggle. It was simple. Painfully, painfully simple.”

When Nori is a little girl growing up in an environment obsessed with family honor, her dream is to be reunited with her mother. It is not until Akira tells her the truth behind her mother’s actions—and his neutrality regarding her abandonment of him—that Nori can finally move on, looking to the future rather than fixating on her past.

“She shrugged. ‘I like rain.’

He laughed scornfully. ‘That’s ridiculous. Nobody likes rain. Nobody ever says, “I wish it weren’t so sunny today.”’

She lowered her eyes. ‘You can’t hear sunshine from the attic,’ she said quietly. ‘And it’s always so quiet. In the summers, especially, with no lessons, and when Akiko-san doesn’t come, it’s…it’s empty. Like there’s nobody else but you in the whole world. But when it rained, I could always hear it on the roof, and then I remembered that I wasn’t, you know…’

Alone.”

This conversation between Nori and Akira delineates the difference between their lives—he is free to travel and explore the world, while she is restricted to the house and the attic. It also introduces the symbol that associates Nori with the rain and Akira with the sun: His bright, charismatic personality is like the sun, while Nori’s quiet devotion is like the companionship of rain. They complement and nourish each other, though they seem like opposing elements. It also recalls the novel’s title, Fifty Words for Rain, highlighting the poetic reference to rain and hinting at Nori’s complex personality.

“Her grandmother raised an eyebrow. ‘Everyone wants something. I’ve watched you for years, but I’ve never been able to figure out what you want. I’m not talking about what you wish for. I’m not talking about foolish whims. I’m asking you what your purpose is. What you’re willing to devote your life to, what you are willing to die for.’

Nori pinched the skin on the inside of her palm. […] ‘I didn’t think I was allowed to have one.’

[…]

‘My purpose is clear,’ she [her grandmother] said, her voice firm, her shoulders straight and proud. ‘It has always been clear. I was born with it. I will die with it. My purpose, my life’s blood, is this family.’”

This conversation between Yuko and Nori recalls the theme of Duty Versus Desire, which drives much of the novel. Yuko is in a unique position where her duty to her family honor is also her greatest desire, thus spurring her ambition and her ruthlessness. Nori, rejected and unacknowledged, desires family, but obeys Yuko’s orders out of a sense of duty. This will soon become both a vulnerability and a point of opposition between her and Yuko.

“We do things that we never thought we were capable of in order to protect what we love.”

Yuko says this to Nori as she tries to manipulate Nori through her devotion to Akira. She tells Nori that if she loves her brother, she will obediently behave as Yuko tells her; in this way, Nori can prove her love, even if she suffers as a result. However, this quote also foreshadows the characters’ actions later in the novel, once Seiko’s backstory and Akira’s future are revealed. Nori herself will be repeatedly vulnerable to this quote throughout her life.

“As if those clear eyes can see straight into the heart of my shame, Akira-sama tosses a last remark at me before he strides away. He sounds almost bewildered. ‘She trusted you.’”

I turn my gaze to the floor I polished just this morning. The light catches it, and it glints like thirty pieces of silver.”

This quote describes Akiko’s thoughts after Nori is taken away to the brothel. While Akiko is a loyal servant to Yuko, she is also the mother that Nori never had. She loves Nori, but this affection is always subsumed by her duty to the Kamiza elders. She betrays Nori by her silent complicity to Yuko’s plot to send her to the brothel; her reference to the silver pieces Judas received for betraying Jesus indicates her guilt. Akira, who is until then accustomed to relatively straightforward relationships with his family and servants, is forced to realize the complexities of Yuko’s power.

“She was driven to ill-advised honesty. ‘I don’t think I want to be a woman,’ she whispered.

Kiyomi gave her a long look. For a moment, she looked as if she too could feel the invisible burden.

‘Ah, my dear,’ she said, with a smile that did not reach her eyes. ‘Someone has to do it.’”

Nori is sheltered and isolated for most of her life, which is a privilege and a curse of her social class. At the brothel, however, Nori faces the reality of the kind of work she will be expected to do; her puberty looms, which will bring with it sexual slavery at the brothel, with her being sold to the highest bidder. Nori rejects her impending womanhood, terrified of what it will bring. Kiyomi’s sardonic advice reflects the struggles of all the female characters in the novel who are making the best of their lives in the patriarchal societies they live in.

“Kiyomi’s expression was pained. There were tears behind her eyes. ‘My God, Nori. You have to live. You have to survive. You…you just have to survive. I cannot save you from this. I cannot give you hope, for it would be a lie. But you must live.’”

Kiyomi becomes Nori’s mentor during her years at the brothel, even though Nori is reluctant to accept this relationship. Kiyomi is shocked when she discovers that Nori plans to kill herself before she is forced to have sex with the man who bought her. Kiyomi’s advice highlights their opposite personalities. Kiyomi is a realist: Survival is her highest priority. Nori, on the other hand, still lives for ideals and principles; for her, death is preferable to enslavement.

“I think that she is my responsibility now and she will be asking me [“Where are we going?”] for the rest of my life.”

Nori is devoted to Akira. Akira also cares for Nori, but as her guardian and protector, his relationship with her evolves into something quasi-parental. As the reality of his guardianship sets in after he rescues her from the brothel, Akira must face the responsibility he has chosen and consider his new future. Caring for Nori is a lifetime commitment and a declaration of war against their grandparents; for an adolescent, it is a burden for which he has no guidebook, and he finds this daunting.

“She could wear a crown of solid gold and he could wear a dirty sheet, and it wouldn’t change the way that the world viewed either of them.”

Nori has always been aware of The Complexities of Ethnicity and Class that separate her and Akira. The impending meeting with their grandparents once again puts these differences into stark focus. She knows that she and Akira will never be seen as equals.

“Nori rolled her eyes. Not for the first time, she wondered if [Akira] was as willing to part with his status in life as he claimed. She doubted that he had ever cooked a meal for himself, or even thought about how to wash his own clothes. That was servant’s work, and what’s more, it was woman’s work.

Not that she had either, but she was prepared to learn. She liked to be useful, and she had no pride to speak of.”

While Nori and Akira are both determined to free themselves from the Kamiza grasp, they have very different ideas about how much they are willing to give up for this freedom. Nori, especially after her years at the brothel, is more willing to sacrifice her social privileges; she barely had any in Kyoto, in any case. Akira, however, remains tied to his privilege, as he has never had to relinquish it. This will in turn affect their negotiations with their grandparents; while Akira opposes the family, he cannot bring himself to fully cut himself off from the comforts it affords him.

“‘You,’ [their grandfather] growled. ‘You are nothing.’

[…]

‘I am your granddaughter,’ she challenged, and though her voice wavered, she pressed on. ‘I have always been your granddaughter, I will always be your granddaughter. I am your family. You cannot erase me. Even if you kill me, I existed. I was here. And Akira-san has chosen me.’”

Before the meeting that Akira arranges with their grandparents, Nori has rarely encountered her grandfather—Yuko has engineered things in this way, knowing that Kohei would probably kill Nori if he encounters her. In fact, he attacks her and tries to kill her soon after this conversation. However, unlike her previous frightened self, Nori resists his rejection and hatred. With Akira’s support, she declares herself a Kamiza, forcing her grandparents to recognize her even if they don’t accept her. This declaration foreshadows her ultimate role as Kamiza heir and Yuko’s future acceptance of her.

“He lowered his eyes. ‘You’re always hurt,’ he said softly. ‘I see it. And I can do nothing.’”

Akira says this to Nori on seeing the severe injuries she received when their grandfather attacked her. Akira is used to privilege; he receives it just for being male and highly born. However, he is not omnipotent, and losing Nori is his greatest vulnerability. He protects her the best he can, but he can’t shelter her forever or prevent all her misfortunes. This powerlessness frustrates him and forces him to mature by shattering his youthful confidence that he can control all things.

“‘I don’t need her [Ayame] to look after me. You shouldn’t be leaving at all.’

He cut his eyes at her. ‘It’s not as if I vowed to spend every second at your side. I have my own wants, you know. My own life. You aren’t the center of the universe, Nori.’”

As Nori and Akira get older, their relationship dynamic changes. Nori no longer idolizes him as she did in childhood, and she also struggles with her fear of abandonment. Akira, on the other hand, struggles with the heavy responsibility of caring for Nori as her legal guardian while balancing his desires in the few years of freedom left to him before he must settle down as the Kamiza heir.

“[Akira said,] ‘You have become quite docile, haven’t you?’

Outwardly, perhaps. The less that was expected of her, the more she could get away with. It had taken her a long time to learn this. Meekness was not weakness. And boldness was not strength.”

As Nori transitions from childhood to adulthood, her perceptions of society and womanhood also change. Her experiences have transformed her from an unthinkingly obedient child to an outspoken young woman; however, her time alone in Akira’s house and Ayame’s own agency have taught her a new way of being. Like Kiyomi told her, “For a woman, everything is an art” (144). Here, Nori learns the subtlety of appearing obedient without actually being so, a trait that will serve her well in the future.

“Akira hesitated. ‘I know you think I don’t see you,’ he whispered. ‘But it isn’t true. I just don’t know what to say to you. I have never been able to protect you the way I wanted. And I’m not…I was never meant to take care of anyone. I’m not built for it.’”

While Akira still cares for Nori, his struggle with his responsibility as her guardian weighs heavily on him. He has long accepted his duty to his family, but he still does not know how to face his powerlessness. Rather than facing it together with Nori, he distances himself, diving into his music rather than acknowledging the truth. This strains their relationship, but their moments of communication always repair it. However, Akira never clearly states whether he noticed Will’s despicable behavior toward Nori.

“She stood up. ‘And now I see that you are like enamel. You shine on the outside, but on the inside, there is nothing. I actually feel sorry for you. For I may be a half-breed and a bastard girl, but I am not so sad that I need to steal other people’s light to fill the hole in myself. You…you have everything and you still have nothing.’”

Nori says this to Will when she works up the nerve to ask him to stop abusing her sexually. While she was initially attracted to Will, she comes to detest and fear him. Will does not respect Nori’s boundaries and bullies her into submission. He cannot accept refusal or rejection, which sours their relationship forever.

“But the sun has gone away.

Don’t they know? Don’t they know that the sun has gone away and everything is finished?”

Nori is devastated by Akira’s death and falls into a deep desolation. Her reason for living has vanished since he was the only person who accepted and loved her. This quote also references the motif of Akira as the sun since Nori describes his death as the disappearance of the sun.

“Nori shut her eyes. ‘I can’t handle this,’ she said bluntly. ‘I am incapable of it, Alice. Really. I can deal with injustice. I can deal with tragedy. I can deal with loss.’

‘But you can’t deal with the idea that maybe it’s time for you to be happy?’ Alice said gently. ‘That terrifies you so much that you’re willing to lose him?’”

Nori is wary of romance, given her traumatic experience with Will and her experiences at the brothel; she struggles to separate mutual desire from sexual abuse. All the tragic experiences of her life have made her accustomed to unhappiness; she almost comes to expect it. Happiness, on the other hand, is foreign and dangerous—she has experienced little of it, but she knows the devastation of its loss.

“She had wanted her mother to be a monster.

It was easy to hate monsters.

And hatred was easy to feel.

This, all of this, was so much harder.”

Nori’s relationship with her mother has always been complicated: Nori has faced abandonment, punishment, and the shame of illegitimacy because of her mother’s actions. Though Nori no longer dreams of reuniting with her mother, seeking closure is both difficult and therapeutic. By the time the journals conclude, Nori can understand her mother in ways she would not have been able to as an adolescent. She understands Seiko’s struggles and empathizes with her hardships, indicating her own maturity and character growth.

“‘Nori,’ he says very quietly, ‘I would rather have died young than lived a hundred years without knowing you.’”

Akira tells Nori this in the dream-vision she has of him. Through this, Nori can receive the closure she was denied by his sudden, traumatic death. Nori has always been devoted to Akira, though the intensity of her feelings often seemed one-sided to her. This is why she treasures his reassurance of his dedication to her.

“‘Please don’t make me live in a world without you.’

His eyes are brimming with warmth, and he leans forward to plant a kiss in the center of my forehead. ‘Oh, Nori. You’re stronger than you know. You don’t need me anymore.’”

Nori seeks Akira’s advice about whether she should become the Kamiza heir. Akira, now free from Kamiza obligations, neither has advice nor wants to offer any. However, he demonstrates the last major responsibility of a guardian: letting go. Akira can no longer protect Nori, but she has matured and grown enough that she no longer needs his protection. She can advocate for herself now, and Akira tells her he trusts her to make the right decisions.