Felix Ever After

Felix hangs out with Leah, and she hypes him up about his art, telling him to apply for the end-of-summer gallery. Austin enters the room, and Leah invites him to sit with them. Felix apologizes to Austin about his breakup with Ezra, but Austin refuses the apology, claiming that Felix just wants Ezra to himself. Felix wonders if everyone knew that he and Ezra were in love except himself. The three talk about their summer plans once the program is over; Felix thinks about how before, he would’ve just hung out with Ezra the whole time. Leah brings up Austin’s obsession with Ariana Grande, and Austin tries to change the subject. Felix remembers that the troll’s handle is grandequeen69 and confronts Austin, who claims it was a mistake and that he was mad at Felix because he was always with Ezra.

Austin feels that trans people are taking cis gay men’s identities and space. Austin intended for Ezra to see the gallery and realize he wasn’t into Felix because he’s trans. Felix tells Austin he has the same right to exist as anyone else and that trans people are lovable. Leah tells Austin that he is used to getting everything he wants because of his identity, while Felix has to deal with being queer, trans, and Black. She screams, “you are marginalized for being gay, but instead of being a f***ing ally to other marginalized people, people even more marginalized than you, you buy into the racist and patriarchal bulls**t and act like you’re above them” (322). As his anger dissipates, Felix starts to pity Austin for being stuck in his bubble, too afraid to learn from amazing people, like those at the LGBT Center. Austin apologizes, but Felix and Leah do not accept the apology. They go to tell Dean Fletcher.

It is finally the Pride parade, and Leah asks Felix to come with her and Ezra. Felix wonders if going to Pride will feel like a release in the way that deleting the email drafts did. Felix’s dad asks if things are still bad with Ezra. Without thinking, Felix tells his dad about going to the LGBT Center and questioning his gender identity again. His father apologizes for how slow he’s been in understanding Felix’s identity and says it’s not a reflection of how much he loves him. He calls Felix by his name and tells him how well the name fits him.

Felix rushes to the parade. Ezra is stuck on the other side of a barricade the police put up. Felix knows he has grown because before he would’ve taken this as an omen that it’s not meant to be, but now he goes to find Ezra. He gets stuck while trying to find him but knows that Ezra would tell him to just enjoy the parade. After seeing the Callan-Lorde and LGBT Center floats, Felix starts to scream: “I’m screaming with joy. I’m screaming with pain. I’m screaming with the awe that I’m here, that we’re all here, and that we’re here because of the people before us, the people who couldn’t be here, and I’m screaming for myself, too” (335). He understands why Ezra loves the parade.

Felix sees Ezra on the other side of the street and yells “I’m sorry” and “I love you,” garnering the crowd’s attention. Ezra hops the barricade and runs to Felix, asking him to repeat what he said a few more times. They profess their love for one another and start to kiss. The crowd cheers them on. Felix is amazed that he could’ve felt like this so much earlier if he hadn’t been scared to accept real love.

Felix and Ezra leave the parade. At Ezra’s apartment, they kiss and talk about how much they missed one another. After the fight, Ezra wanted to apologize but assumed Felix had moved on when he saw him with Declan. Ezra says he fell in love with Felix a few weeks after meeting him. For Felix, it was a slower realization that only hit him once he thought he’d lost Ezra. Felix tells Ezra about his new identity as a demiboy.

August finds Felix working on college applications, his portfolio almost done. The prospect of not getting into Brown doesn’t feel as life-shattering as before. The deadline for the end-of-of-summer gallery is approaching, and Jill tells Felix that his paintings are amazing and that he should apply. Felix decides to apply, thinking he could “reclaim the lobby and its space with me, the real me—reflections of who I am and how I see myself, and how the world should see me, too” (346). Felix is the first student to ever be chosen for the gallery unanimously. When he sees his self-portraits all over the wall, he knows he is worthy of respect and love. On stage, he sees Marisol whispering and wonders why he’d ever wanted her attention in the first place. His speech is about the power of self-defining in this space that once hurt him so badly; he tells everyone that it was not his identity that hurt him, that his identity brings him love.

Leah, Ezra, and Felix celebrate with pot brownies. Leah and Ezra profess love for their friendship. Felix knows just a few months prior, all this love would’ve made him uncomfortable. On the train to have dinner with Felix’s dad, they see the graffiti they saw at the beginning of the summer: R+J=4EVA. Now, Felix understands this public proclamation; he adds F+E=4EVA to the wall. Ezra tells Felix that he recently read that the name Felix also means “happy.” Felix thinks this is fitting because he is extremely happy. They hold hands.