49 pages • 1 hour read
Sloan HarlowEverything We Never Said
Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2024A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapters 30-39Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 30 Summary: “Ella”
Ella wonders if the news of Hayley’s pregnancy made Sawyer so mad that he ran them off the road. She and Seema are supposed to be watching movies, but Ella is too distracted by Hayley’s news to focus. Ella confesses to Seema that she’s been reading Hayley’s diary, and Seema is shocked. Ella explains that Hayley’s diary is giving her valuable information, but Seema gets angry at Ella handling her friend’s private journal. Seema’s brother once found her diary and read it to their family, causing her a lot of pain. Seema suggests that Ella isn’t a good friend. Seema says that Hayley drank heavily at the party on the night she died and seemed “on edge.” Then, she saw Hayley and Scott emerging from a bedroom just before Ella and Hayley left. After this, Seema leaves Ella’s house, and Ella bursts into tears. Her mom tries to comfort her, but Ella feels too guilty to share her feelings with her mother.
Later, Ella is awakened by the sound of her cat growling. She sees the open window, and a figure lurches toward her in the darkness. Ella screams, and the figure scrambles out the window before her parents enter. The intruder has torn her bedroom apart, apparently looking for something. When the police arrive, Ella tells them that it was Sawyer, as he’s used that window to access her room before, and she assumes that he was looking for Hayley’s diary.
Chapter 31 Summary: “Sawyer”
Sawyer knows that the police don’t have concrete evidence against him, and he’s aware that the officer questioning him is Mr. Wilkens’s uncle. The officer suggests that Sawyer broke into Ella’s room to steal something, and when he produces Hayley’s diary, Sawyer panics. The officer reads a few entries and gets in Sawyer’s face. When another officer relieves the first, Sawyer texts Ella. He is eager to make sure that she’s at home and not out with someone else. The officer returns with a warrant. They arrest him, and he demands his one phone call.
Chapter 32 Summary: “Ella”
Ella and her parents cannot go back to sleep. Ella goes for a walk, ambling for hours before she realizes that she’s lost. She calls Mr. Wilkens, and he offers to pick her up and take her to his house. Ella responds to Sawyer’s text, saying that she’s safe with Mr. Wilkens; then, she blocks him. Mr. Wilkens’s house is expensive and beautiful, and she looks over his baseball paraphernalia, including a bat signed “To Sam,” which Mr. Wilkens explains is his middle name. He started going by Sam because he dislikes his first name, Andrew. Ella notices that he has the same “bee hydration stations” that Hayley made for her garden (246). Then, she notices the fresh gash on Mr. Wilkens’s palm, like the kind one might get climbing up a wooden trellis. When he asks if she’s okay, she claims to be tired, but she feels like a “malfunctioning machine” that can’t compute this new information. Ella realizes that “Sam” is the “S” from Hayley’s diary. When she tries to leave, Mr. Wilkens tells her that it’ll be okay and then knocks her out.
Chapter 33 Summary: “Ella”
Ella’s head is pounding, and her ankles and wrists are bound. She’s in a basement that was clearly designed to muffle sound. Wilkens, as Ella now refers to him, insists that she had a “psychotic break.” Wilkens says that he loved Hayley, and he claims that having to hurt Ella is agonizing, too. He’s crying, and she becomes enraged, accusing him of running her car off the road and killing Hayley. Behind him, a figure sneaks down the stairs. The figure raises the baseball bat and strikes him on the head. The figure pulls back their hood, revealing them to be Hayley.
Chapter 34 Summary: “Hayley”
Sawyer used his phone call to reach Hayley, knowing that she would have to save Ella. Now, Hayley tells a speechless Ella that she called the cops and they’ll arrive in five minutes. Hayley fights off the guilt that threatens to overwhelm her. She cuts Ella’s bindings and then hands her the knife. She instructs Ella to tell the police that it is her knife, that Sam brought the bat, and that Ella surprised him, took it, and hit him with it. Hayley wipes her prints off the bat, handing it to Ella. She insists that Ella verbally acknowledge the story that Hayley wants her to tell the police. Ella confirms her understanding, and Hayley tucks a letter into Ella’s sock, marveling at the “defiant set of [Ella’s] jaw, surprising and new,” realizing that Ella is not a “baby bird” anymore (260).
Chapter 35 Summary: “Hayley’s Letter”
In the letter, Hayley tells Ella that she loves her and that she’s the person Hayley most wanted to tell about Sam. At first, she was grateful that Sam chose her, but when he became abusive, she didn’t know how to cope. She knows that her relationship with Phoebe is too toxic to fix. She liked Sawyer but knew that she’d never love him, and that’s why she preferred to hang out as a trio. Sam grew jealous of anyone Hayley spent time with, including Ella, and then she got pregnant. She began to find AirTags everywhere and realized that Sam was stalking her, so she told Sawyer everything. He wanted to help, but Hayley feared that Sam would find her at the shelter Sawyer recommended. Hayley insisted that they take Ella’s car to Scott’s party, not realizing that Sam would tag Ella’s car, too. That night, Ella had only one light beer. Scott tried to hook up with Hayley, and Hayley had to lie to Sam, who called to confirm that she was at Ella’s, as she promised. Hayley forced Ella to drive them away, fearful that Sam would show up, and she realized that he was following them. He hit Ella’s bumper, forcing them off the road. Hayley’s window exploded, and most of the windshield shattered. Ella was unconscious, so Hayley called Sawyer, and he convinced Hayley that she and Ella would be safest if Sam thought Hayley was dead. She made him promise to protect Ella. From that moment, Hayley became “Hazel.” She’s been staying at the shelter, and someone took her to get an abortion. She tells Ella not to feel guilty about falling for Sawyer and that they make sense together.
Chapter 36 Summary: “Ella”
Ella’s in the hospital. Her mother apologizes for not making her comfortable enough to talk to her parents about her life. She assures Ella that they love her just as she is. Ella is still processing everything, but she already feels much better. Seema visits, and they make up. Ella realizes that she isn’t like a “baby bird” anymore. She is not at others’ mercy but feels empowered and more capable of protecting herself.
Chapter 37 Summary: “Sawyer”
When Sawyer is released, he sees Sean in handcuffs, accused of stealing from his boss. Sawyer’s mom picks him up, telling him that Ella is safe and that Wilkens is in custody. He remembers when Hayley told him about her and Sam and how he offered to take Hayley to a shelter, but she feared that Sam would find her. They decided to pretend like everything was normal so that she could figure out a plan. Leaving Ella in the car was hard, and seeing her talk to Wilkens at school felt just as bad. He talks to his mom about his anger and violent behavior, unwilling to become his father; she reminds him that he has a choice. He can accept responsibility for his behavior and change it; this is what he agrees to do. Sawyer goes to the hospital to visit Ella, and he falls asleep there while waiting for her to wake up. She greets him with happy tears.
Chapter 38 Summary: “Ella”
Ella is so happy that Hayley is alive. Sawyer remains accountable for his behavior, and he promises never to scream or throw things again. Sawyer remarks on the fact that Ella hasn’t apologized unnecessarily for some time. They kiss and stay up all night talking.
Chapter 39 Summary: “Ella”
Ella is praised for maiming Sam. The school gets a wonderful new psychologist whom Sawyer meets with regularly. Sawyer’s mom gets a new job at Callan’s school, and their whole family is doing well. Ella and Hayley text one another now, and Ella no longer feels scared of the future.
Chapters 30-39 Analysis
Ella’s dynamism is apparent in these final chapters as she becomes more empowered. It is Hayley who first identifies this change in Ella. When she reveals that she’s still alive, she sees the difference in her best friend, saying, “You’re not a baby bird anymore are you? […] You’re an eagle. A phoenix” (260). Ella used to seem sheltered and fragile, incapable of protecting herself, especially when compared with Hayley or Sawyer, both of whom already endured personal traumas. Now, however, Ella’s experiences since Hayley’s “death” have given her a similar edge, instilling in her the confidence to know that she can handle difficult things and not be broken by them. Hayley sees this change and compares her friend to an eagle, a bird renowned for its strength and associated with courage, as well as a phoenix, a mythical bird that bursts into flames and rises anew from the ashes. Likewise, after the revelation that Hayley survived the crash, Ella says that she feels “everything. Everything,” realizing that she’s not a “baby bird anymore” (286). She is no longer defenseless but capable. Sawyer’s recognition that she hasn’t offered “any unnecessary sorrys […] in a while” confirms her new self-confidence (299). The new, empowered Ella no longer apologizes for things that need no apology, an indication of her strength and self-assurance.
Seema’s and Hayley’s experiences with difficult emotions further emphasize The Importance of Feeling One’s Feelings and resisting the urge to numb or ignore them. Acknowledging and working through one’s feelings, however messy, is the only way to heal. When Seema confronts Ella about her disloyalty, she claims, “All those things I just said? Didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. So I wrote it down. In my, you guessed it, diary. Which, ten-year-old me thought, thank God no one was gonna see this shit, this private agony” (222). Seema allowed herself to feel and express her feelings, no matter how embarrassing they were, and this gave her the capacity to process them and move on, even to forgive Ella. Hayley describes a similar feeling when she recounts her experiences in group therapy. She writes, “Anytime I get up the guts to admit to a thought or a feeling that I’ve been stuffing down into a barrel of shame, one that feels absolutely unforgivable, at least one other person says, ‘Same, girl.’ It’s usually way more than just one” (277). No matter how painful or embarrassing a feeling seems, refusing to acknowledge it makes it seem that much worse.
Likewise, Ella’s and Hayley’s experiences with shame confirm The Futility of Guilt. Of her relationship with “S,” Hayley writes, “I started feeling scared all the time. And then ashamed of being scared. And then ashamed for feeling ashamed of being scared” (264). Her guilt transformed her from an open and candid person into one who kept painful secrets from her best friend and lied to the world about her trauma, sending her into a shame spiral that empowered her abuser. When she reveals herself to Ella, she “punch[es] away the guilt that threatens to take over” (259). She feels guilty for making Ella believe that she was dead, though she did it to protect Ella. Hayley recognizes the uselessness of her guilt, acknowledging it before sending it away so that she can continue to help her friend. As for Ella, learning about Sam’s role in the accident absolves her of the guilt she felt since that night, as she realizes how unnecessary it was. She says to Sam, “You killed her. And you nearly killed me. Both that night and every night for six months […] I never put down that boulder of guilt. It nearly dragged me down into the depths too” (255). Her guilt was not only unnecessary but also destructive because it was Sam who was to blame, not her. Finally, as far as Ella’s guilt for starting a relationship with Sawyer, Hayley writes, “You two together? Like, duh. You guys work. You guys fit […] don’t you dare feel guilty about it” (278). Ella learns that Hayley never loved Sawyer romantically and that there is no reason for her to feel like she’s stealing her dead best friend’s boyfriend: Not only is her best friend not dead, but she also supports the match.
Finally, the resolutions of Sawyer’s and Sam’s stories demonstrate The Cyclical Nature of Abuse and how, through an intense personal commitment, one can break it. Sam never makes this choice, though Sawyer does. Just before he’s about to kill Ella, Sam says to her, “I was five, and when it went quiet in my parents’ bedroom, when the crying and the crashing stopped, I was wondering […] if my mother was dead and I was next. You know what that’s like? What that does to someone?” (254). He blames the abuse that he suffered for changing him into something he claims he cannot control, and, as Sawyer’s mom points out, he may actually believe that. She, on the other hand, tells her son, “I’m not saying it’s easy, Sawyer. It’s not. But I am saying it’s a choice. You’re not a werewolf” (294). A survivor of abuse has every right to be angry, but the choice is whether to allow that anger to traumatize others or to deal with it in a healthy way, breaking the cycle.
