Everything on a Waffle

Uncle Jack, as Primrose calls him, is her only blood relative. At the time of her parent’s disappearance, Uncle Jack served in the Canadian navy off Nova Scotia, on the opposite side of the country. Primrose knows little about her uncle, her mother’s brother, apart from her mother’s referring to him as “hotfoot Jack” (9), whom she called a drifter. Despite his initial unwillingness to leave the navy, Uncle Jack quickly retires and relocates to Coal Harbour. He announces his intention to care for Primrose. Tall, lean, and blonde, Uncle Jack’s primary physical feature is a broad, ingratiating smile. Primrose reports that women find her uncle particularly attractive.

When he resigns from the navy, Uncle Jack reverts to his original profession: real estate agent and housing developer. Uncle Jack has a grand vision to transform the little town into a tourist mecca, a plan that irritates many of the long-time residents. He purchases a former government house attached to a gymnasium and encourages young men to use the gym. Constantly at work, Uncle Jack often leaves Primrose on her own. Primrose likes her uncle and would like to spend more time with him. Uncle Jack speaks candidly about his relationship to Primrose, explaining his intentions and telling her of his checkered history. Though romantically pursued by Miss Honeycut, Uncle Jack only expresses an interest in selling her a new home. He strives to prevent Miss Honeycut from sending Primrose into foster care. Primrose would like to see Uncle Jack become romantically involved with her friend Miss Bowzer, though each expresses disdain for the other.

Miss Honeycut is the antagonist of the narrative. She is the school counselor, which gives her large sway over what happens to the apparently orphaned Primrose. Once Uncle Jack comes into the picture, Miss Honeycut grows more determined to send Primrose into foster care or to find an adoptive family for her. The relationship between Uncle Jack and Miss Honeycut moves through several stages: from romantic pursuit to realtor/client to plaintiff/defendant when, after her new home burns, Miss Honeycut attempts to sue Uncle Jack.

Primrose describes Miss Honeycut as an individual who believes she is superior to everyone else in Coal Harbour. She is a descendant of British royalty who, Primrose says, only waits for her elderly father to die so she can return to England and claim a sizeable inheritance. In the meantime, her focus remains on making decisions for those beneath her purview as a counselor, and in particular, Primrose. Miss Honeycut is a loquacious talker who incessantly recounts anecdotes from her world travels, mixing them with stories of her quirky extended family. What numerous characters note, however, is that Miss Honeycut has poor listening skills. When Primrose tries to explain why she had to trim the hair of her class’s pet guinea pig, Miss Honeycut cuts her off. When Primrose tries to convince her to watch the rows of seals swimming through the harbor, Miss Honeycut ignores her. For Primrose, however, Miss Honeycut’s most egregious flaw is a lack of gratitude toward Uncle Jack when he suffers a serious injury while saving Miss Honeycut from her burning home.

Miss Bowzer is the owner and cook of The Girl on the Red Swing café in Coal Harbour. Miss Bowzer serves an eclectic variety of dishes, all of which have the commonality of sitting atop a perfect waffle—giving rise to the title Everything on a Waffle. Primrose notes that Miss Bowzer constantly smokes cigarettes while cooking hundreds of waffles daily. She describes Miss Bowzer’s kitchen as a disorderly scene of supplies and dishes that somehow produce perfect entrees beloved by her clientele. Throughout the narrative, meals at the diner become a focal point at which the characters continually encounter one another.

Miss Bowzer first appears when rescuing Primrose from a hateful group of her classmates, intent on haranguing Primrose about her missing parents. The two quickly grow close. Primrose, who carries her mother's loose-leaf recipe book, asks Miss Bowzer’s advice on cooking—something she wants to do for Uncle Jack. Miss Bowzer also offers her wisdom, explaining the reactions of townsfolk to the loss of her parents as well as breaking down for her why the locals dislike Uncle Jack’s efforts to gentrify the village. The restaurant’s kitchen becomes a place of respite for Primrose, where she always finds unquestioned acceptance, even when she brings in the class guinea pig.

Miss Bowzer creates a problematic relationship with Uncle Jack, who tries unsuccessfully to purchase the café to replace it with a larger, more typical restaurant. Primrose secretly wants Miss Bowzer and Uncle Jack to like each other. Instead, they develop a culinary rivalry expressed through the different menu items Miss Bowzer prepares in response to Uncle Jack’s quibbling complaints.

Primrose’s next-door neighbor is the aged Miss Perfidy. She comes into the narrative on the night of the typhoon when Primrose’s mother appears at her door and asks her to watch Primrose while she takes her skiff into the storm to search for her husband. Primrose notes that Miss Perfidy did not try to talk her mother out of such an ill-advised decision. This is an example of the way abruptly ending conversations is one of Miss Perfidy’s characteristics. She perpetually walks out of the room while Primrose tries to speak to her. When her parents disappear, Miss Perfidy assumes babysitting duties for Primrose, charging her parents’ estate $3 per hour until, after several months, the money starts to run out, and Uncle Jack steps in.

Primrose depicts Miss Perfidy as crotchety and firmly rooted in the absolute truth of her assumptions. The problem with this, as Miss Perfidy herself admits, is that she has begun to remember things that never happened, like enjoying an elaborate meal with a woman whose home she has never entered. This propensity causes Miss Perfidy to allege to Miss Honeycut that Primrose is an easily-distracted daydreamer, like her mother and grandmother—whom Miss Perfidy never met. Throughout, Primrose works to achieve a bond of friendship with Miss Perfidy, though never achieving it.

Compounding the difficulty of their relationship is the reality of Miss Perfidy’s steep mental and physical decline. Primrose shows up at her house one day to find Miss Perfidy wearing her clothes backward. Miss Witherspoon, Miss Perfidy’s sister, begins to step in to care for Miss Perfidy, further creating issues when Miss Witherspoon disposes of items stored in Miss Perfidy’s house without realizing some belong to Primrose.