Dumplin

“All my life I’ve had a body worth commenting on and if living in my skin has taught me anything it’s that if it’s not your body, it’s not yours to comment on. Fat. Skinny. Short. Tall. It doesn’t matter.”

As soon as Willowdean tells Ellen that Callie is a “twiggy bitch,” Willowdean regrets it. Willowdean is jealous of Ellen and Callie’s friendship, but knowing what it is like when someone says something mean about your body, Will promised herself never to comment on anyone else’s body. Later, Will apologizes to Ellen for the remark about Callie.

“I don’t get why we call it a crush when it feels more like a curse.”

Bekah Cotters comes to Harpy’s, and Willowdean watches as Bekah flirts with Bo. When Bo smiles at Bekah, Willowdean feels like she’s “swallowed a handful of rocks” (39) When Willowdean says that her crush on Bo “feels more like a curse,” it is an example of the multitude of confusing emotions she feels when she is around him. 

“I’ve been stared at a lot in my life. Enough to know that when someone gets caught staring, instinct says to look away. But Bo keeps on lookin’, like he’s got nothing to be ashamed of.” 

Because of her weight, Willowdean is used to people staring at her. Usually, when she catches someone staring at her, that person quickly looks away. When Willowdean catches Bo staring at her, he doesn’t look away. Despite Willowdean not believing he could ever find her attractive, Bo likes her and thinks she is beautiful.

“He starts his car and I start mine. This thing between us is a roller coaster. The brakes might be out and the tracks might be on fire, but I can’t make myself get off the ride.” 

Willowdean compares her relationship with Bo to the way a runaway car on a roller coaster feels. Even though it is dangerous, Will can’t stop her feelings about Bo and continues to spend time with him after work. However, her perception of their relationship is based on her fear that he will reject her due to her weight. In actuality, she pushes him away and is the one impeding their relationship.

“Each word is a naked patch of him, and I want so badly to add up all the bread crumbs I have and make sense of him.”

Bo is quiet and doesn’t talk much. During the meteor shower, Bo begins to open up to Willowdean and later, he says that even though he doesn’t talk much to people, he likes talking to her. Willowdean often spends her time putting together the things Bo has told her because she wants to know everything about him.

“‘I guess it’s an awfully big sky not to share.’” 

Willowdean likes that Bo asked her to watch the meteor shower with him. Bo tells her that he likes to think his mother, who passed away five years prior, is also watching the meteor shower. Willowdean wants to tell Bo that she is sorry that his mother died and that she feels the same way about her aunt Lucy, but instead, she says that the sky should be shared because it is so big. What she means when she says this is that she is happy Bo shared it with her and that she too believed they were sharing the night with Bo’s mother as well as Lucy.

“I like the idea of keeping my world in these little compartments where there is no risk of collision.” 

Willowdean knows she should tell Ellen that Bo kissed her, but she decides to keep it to herself. Will can’t understand why Bo would like a girl who looks like Will. By keeping their relationship secret, she won’t be embarrassed in front of anyone when Bo dumps her. (This is ironic because she accuses Bo of keeping the relationship secret, even though he likes what Will looks like or who knows about them.) This quote also foreshadows Will’s feelings when she learns that Bo is transferring to her school. Will liked that she only saw Bo at work and doesn’t know if she can handle seeing him—and being seen with him—at both Harpy’s and school.

“I don’t even know this girl and she’s elbowing her way through my life like everything is hers for the taking.” 

Willowdean thinks this about Callie when Callie asks her if she and Ellen can come over to Willowdean’s house sometime and talk to Mrs. Dixon about the pageant. Callie and her boyfriend have come to Harpy’s, and Willowdean laments about having to see her bully outside of school, particularly since Will feels as though she is losing Ellen to Callie. 

“Closing takes forever. The dining room is a mess and so is the kitchen, but I barely notice kiss because my thoughts are absorbed with Bo and my first kiss. My first kiss, which took place behind Harpy’s Burgers & Dogs and next to a Dumpster full of day-old trash.” 

It can seem like first kisses must be magical, but they can happen on a regular day behind a fast food restaurant after work. Willowdean and Bo are normal teenagers, and their first kiss isn’t glamorous, even though Will can’t stop thinking about it throughout the rest of the night. Will's romantic encounter with Bo marks her coming-of-age and causes self-image to wane.

“Every bone in my body aches, like I’ve been in a car accident and there’s nothing physically wrong with me, but still I can feel the impact of it everywhere.” 

Willowdean feels her first kiss with Bo throughout her entire body. She compares it to a car accident when you aren’t hurt but your whole body feels the impact of the cars crashing into each other. This physical effect demonstrates how emotionally invested Will is with Bo, feelings that cause her to doubt herself as well as his affection for her.

“If any other girl had told me that she’d been told this by a guy, I’d tell her to back it up. To put the brakes on. Because he sounds like a jerk. I just can’t think that way about Bo. But I guess this is how every girl in the history of the sexes has been played. Because the rules apply to every situation except your own.” 

After Bo kisses Willowdean, he tells her that he shouldn’t be dating anyone based on his past relationships. Until he says this, Willowdean hadn’t thought about the two of them dating because she can’t imagine that someone like Bo would want to date someone like her, i.e., a plus-sized girl. This quote shows how self-aware Willowdean is. She knows that she would tell another girl that Bo is a “jerk” and to stay away from him, but Will acknowledges that she likes him too much to do so. 

“I turn the volume on the radio up all the way in the hope that it might drown out everything rattling inside of me. Lucy, my mom, Ellen, Bo. Little versions of each of them seem to live inside of me, one louder than the next. The only voice that isn’t there—the one I need the most—is my own.” 

Willowdean’s first kiss with Bo leaves her an emotional mess. She can’t stop thinking about the kiss and what he said in his car about not dating anyone right now. Willow wonders where her self-confidence goes when she is with him. When she is with him, she thinks about what everyone else would say. She wants to convince herself that her own opinion is all that matters.

“‘Truth be told, I don’t think your mama’s even tried it on. Best not to tell anyone about this.’ I say yes with my eyes, because I’m scared to even nod. ‘Why are you letting me try it on?’ She shrugs. ‘Maybe ’cause you don’t always have to win a pageant to wear a crown.’” 

When Donna at All that Shines asks Willowdean if she wants to try on the beauty pageant crown, Will agrees but asks why Donna is letting her try it on. Just like Will asks Bo why he kissed her, and she asks Mitch why he wants to hang around her, she doesn’t think she is worthy to even try on the crown. Donna reminds her that it is not winning or losing a beauty pageant that defines who you are.

“My little summer world is caving in on me and I am the only witness. This is what happens, I think, when a secret turns into a lie.” 

Willowdean thinks this while she is working at Harpy’s with Bo the day that she learns Bo is transferring high schools in the fall and didn’t tell her. She enjoys spending the summer with Bo and feels bad that she hasn’t told anyone, especially Ellen, about her time with Bo. Although she later accuses him of wanting to not be seen with her, she herself is keeping their romance a secret.

“Mitch is big. He’s got a bit of a belly and shoulders wider than most door frames, but people don’t look at him and think fat. They think athletic.” 

Mitch is one of the best and more popular boys on the school’s football team. Unlike teenage girls, high school boys who weigh a lot are accepted because it makes them “athletic” and not “fat.” Will acknowledges this social contradiction with disdain, yet she allows herself to casually date Mitch because she believes his stature makes him comparable to her.

“‘I thought about it. I think every girl in this town does. But I wasn’t the same person I am today. I didn’t have it in me back then to pretend I felt good enough about myself to enter a beauty pageant.’” 

Ellen asks her mother why her mother never entered the Miss Teen Blue Bonnet Pageant having grown up in and spending her life in Carson City. Willowdean has always wondered this herself having known Mrs. Dryver as Texas’s best Dolly Parton impersonator. Mrs. Dryver explains that she didn’t have any confidence when she was a teenager proving that it takes time for people to become their best selves.

“I guess the magic of being someone else is lost when you can never quite shed your own skin.” 

On their first date, Willowdean tells Mitch that she isn’t a fan of Halloween. While everyone seems to love dressing up and being somebody different for a night, Willowdean sees herself as “fat,” no matter what costume she is wearing: “I mean, fat kids have enough problems finding clothes. The added pressure of Halloween is unnecessary” (121). This excerpt reflects Will's continued self-doubt due to her weight and indicates her desire to be someone else for this reason.

“I think maybe it’s the things we don’t want to talk about that are the things people most want to hear.” 

Mitch tells Willowdean about letting his father down when Mitch was a kid because he was scared to shoot an animal when they went hunting. Hearing the story, Willowdean starts to care about Mitch. If he hadn’t told her about hunting, she would never have guessed he had a sensitive side. As the narrative progresses, Will realizes that her assumptions about others have been superficial. 

“‘The difference between winning and losing is all in the details.’”         

Willowdean doesn’t believe that her mother misses Lucy. Willowdean’s mother tells Will a story about how the night before she won the Miss Teen Blue Bonnet competition, Lucy stayed up all night helping her sew sequins on Will’s mother’s dress. Will’s mother said that it was no big deal if there were a few missing sequins, but Lucy said: “The difference between winning and losing is all in the details.” Lucy’s determination and attention to details helped Will’s mom win the contest. Lucy believed that it was important to pay attention to the details and not make sweeping, broad generalizations about something or someone. 

“I watch from the corner of my vision as he brushes his knuckles across his chin. I want to touch him. It seems inevitable. He’s a negative and I’m a positive and all that stands between us is a matter of time.” 

Bo trades seats with Amanda in fifth period World History so that he can sit next to Will. While Will is still convinced that there is no reason for Bo to like her, she is still attracted to him and looks forward to seeing him at work later that night. Although Will has continually told herself that someone like Bo couldn't be interested in her, she eventually accepts the notion that they are drawn to one another, despite their physical appearances.

“And now I know exactly how Lucy felt when she decided she couldn’t get on that plane to Dollywood. All those years, I thought she was only standing in her own way, and now I know she had no choice. When your options are limited to being miserable in private or being mortified in public, there is no choice. I can’t get on the plane.” 

When Willowdean can’t give Bo an answer about being his girlfriend, it is because she doesn’t think she will be able to handle her classmates’ reactions. She is convinced that when the kids at school see her and Bo together, they will stare and whisper. She feels she can’t put herself through that because she doesn’t think she will survive.

Lucy missed going to Dollywood because the airline said she had to purchase another seat to fit on the airplane. Willowdean always thought Lucy didn’t experience things because Lucy’s own fear got in the way. The way Will feels about being Bo’s girlfriend makes her realize that it was about more than just an extra seat on the plane to Lucy. Lucy didn’t think she could survive the whispers and stares of others on the plane and throughout her whole trip to Dollywood. 

“Panic flashes across her face. I think that maybe I will forever judge her based on what she does and says at this very moment. We don’t have this kind of relationship. I don’t cry on my mother’s shoulder. We dance around each other, but never intersect.” 

Willowdean and her mother argue over what to do with Lucy’s room now that Lucy has passed. Willowdean is convinced her mother is trying to get rid of the memory of Lucy by getting rid of her things. During one fight, Willowdean starts to cry, and Willowdean’s mother takes a step toward her. While Will wants her mother to comfort her, Will knows that she and her mother don’t have that type of relationship.

“I may be uncomfortable, but I refuse to be ashamed. Maybe it’s because I can’t see the audience. Or maybe it’s because no one is yelling for me to get off the stage, but my thighs survive their moment in the spotlight. I don’t scurry away like I did that day at the pool. No one boos. The world doesn’t end. The audience doesn’t go blind.” 

Willowdean hates her thighs the most, so when she must wear a bathing suit for the beauty pageant, she can’t help but compare herself to the other contestants. When it’s Will’s turn to walk the stage like it’s a fashion runway, she reminds herself that she shouldn’t worry about what she looks like. For a moment, Will thinks being on stage in her bathing suit is going to be traumatic, but the audience doesn’t react to her any differently than they react to any of the contestants, thin or fat.