Dial A for Aunties

“Am I doomed to stay with them forever, just because I’m the only one not heartless enough to leave?”

As Meddy grows up, she begins to dream about having a life separate from her family. However, because of the curse and her relatives’ comments (see Quote 1), she equates pursuing her own independence with heartless abandonment of her family. Meddy also views the only alternative to leaving entirely as being “doomed” to stay with her family “forever.” At the start of the novel, Meddy is wrestling with what she views as two mutually exclusive perfect opposites: leaving versus staying.

“Though Chris and Annie [Nathan’s parents] are perfectly pleasant, they’re so different from Ma and my aunts that I’m constantly on edge, desperate to make the best impression possible. Conversation with them is somewhat stilted, and I wonder if this is what all English families are like, if they all use words like ‘lovely’ and ‘delightful’ instead of shouting and flapping like my family does. [...]

It’s not even just the stark differences in our families that’s holding me back from taking him [Nathan] home. My whole life I’ve followed all of Ma’s rules. I even chose to stay in L.A. for her. I love Ma, but I also want to be separate from her. [...]

Then, of course, there’s the curse. What if taking him home means it finds me even sooner than it had found my mom and aunts? I’ve tried explaining my reasoning for keeping him away from my family, but each time I just end up verbally flailing, and then the conversation ends with him hurt and disappointed.”

While Meddy and Nathan Chan love each other, Meddy struggles with the contrast between Nathan’s family and her own. Nathan comes from a European and Hong Kong Chinese, wealthy, and refined background; Meddy, meanwhile, comes from a more economically disadvantaged Chinese Indonesian immigrant background. She therefore feels out of place in Nathan’s home and worries that her family would both overwhelm and disappoint Nathan with their perceived “gaucheness” if they meet. She further fears her own inability to direct or interject in her family’s conversation, which she feels is embarrassing. Meddy struggles to explain any of her fears to Nathan, leading to friction in their otherwise happy relationship.

“‘Are you kidding? They’re [Nathan’s parents] amazing. And your [Nathan’s] house is amazing.’ Not at all like mine, I want to say, but I don’t, because honestly, I’m embarrassed. Ma and my aunts are practically hoarders. They say it has to do with growing up poor. [...] I guess a grower of mushrooms in coffee cups is not one to judge.”

Although Meddy gets along with Nathan’s parents, she is very self-conscious about her own background. She loves Nathan as a person, but she is determined to keep her life and her family separate. This separation, she believes, is the only way to maintain a balance between what she wants out of life and where she comes from. The conflict that Meddy feels about introducing Nathan to her family relates to the theme of Intergenerational Immigration, highlighting how diverse families who share this quality may be and the anxieties that can emerge as a result.

“[…] now I realize that I’ve always felt it lurking behind my back, felt it giving me an expiration date. But it’s stupid. Why damn the relationship when there’s nothing wrong with it?”

Although Meddy constantly worries about the family curse and how her family is generally perceived by outsiders, after meeting Nathan’s parents, she finally dares to hope for the future. Even if the curse happens, she concludes, she can’t control when and how it will play out. Instead, she should make the best of the time that she has with Nathan and hope her fears won’t come to pass. At this point, the theme of Loyalty Versus Fear and Selfishness is at work, as Meddy is still attributing her fears about taking emotional risk to the curse; although she wants to be loyal to Nathan, she will allow her fear to undermine that loyalty, ultimately breaking up with him to avoid difficult conversations.

“So close to home. To safety. A lump catches in my throat. For the first time in years, I can’t wait to get home to Ma.”

Despite all of Meddy’s discontent with her family and her life after college as part of the family business, she still loves and depends on her family for support. Even though the disastrous date was set up by her mother, Meddy still turns to her in a crisis. This moment illustrates Meddy’s challenge: her closeness with her family and her dependence on them.

“From the corner of my eye, I sense Ma’s approval, and it makes me want to laugh out loud and sob. I mean, seriously, I’ve just killed a man, and she still cares about me being respectful to my elders.”

Sutanto includes scenes like this throughout the novel as a humorous nod to the importance of respect, especially toward elders, in many Asian cultures. Despite the shock and panic the Chans feel about the body in Meddy’s trunk, Meddy still instinctively follows cultural decorum when her aunts arrive. Though presented in a more absurdist manner, this behavior demonstrates that Ma raised her well. Meddy recognizes her mother’s approval, even as she is flabbergasted by the perceived difference in priorities, given the circumstances.

“New York. That’s so far away, it might as well be another country. What would Ma do without me? I’d be no better than my male cousins, leaving home as soon as they could. No, I’d be even worse, because I gave Ma and my aunties false hope, led them to believe that I’d stay before ripping their hearts right out. Ma would be devastated. Big Aunt would shake her head with disappointment and say, ‘Wah, turn out girl not blessing. Same as boy, leave us behind.’ And Second Aunt and Fourth Aunt would give me disapproving looks as they comfort Ma.

No, I’m better than my cousins. Better than my uncles—and I sure as hell am better than my father. I won’t abandon my family. Not for love, not for anything.”

For Meddy, family is everything. As graduation looms, so, too, does the rest of her life and the point at which she must begin making her own decisions. She wants to be with Nathan and to separate from her family, but at the same time, she is afraid to commit to either. Her dream is to live with Nathan but remain close to her relatives—away, but not far away. However, the differences in their respective families and her fear about taking any emotional risks render her unable to pursue such a balance. Instead, she masks this fear by prioritizing filial piety and familial duty.

“Fourth Aunt loooves rubbing that in Ma’s face. I guess their beef is like Big Aunt versus Second Aunt, going back decades, far older than me and my cousins.”

Each pair of aunties has their own rivalries: Big Aunt and Second Aunt, and Ma and Fourth Aunt. Meddy has no idea how these conflicts originated, and she is often irritated by the chaos these conflicts cause. At the same time, however, Meddy becomes a bit of a fifth wheel—each aunt has a “conflict partner”—but Meddy does not, leaving her isolated from part of the Chans’ quirky family dynamic.

“They’re all looking at me funny, and it takes a second to realize that I’ve just taken on a leadership role with MY AUNTS. Whoa. I quail under their gazes. ‘Um, sorry, that was just a suggestion, I didn’t mean to—.’”

As the offspring and youngest of the group, Meddy is expected to be quiet and deferential to her elders. She usually is—something she was also once reluctant to reveal to Nathan—so when she asserts herself in this moment, she surprises everyone, including herself. This instance hints at her journey toward balancing her family duty with her personal desires and dreams.

“‘Mainland,’ the sheriff spits. ‘You mainland people think you’re better than the rest of us. I’ll be back, just you wait. You and your mainland permits.’ He strides away, muttering angrily to himself. I release my breath.”

Sheriff McConnell is one of many antagonists in the novel. Obviously incompetent from his first appearance, he uses his power as an official to overcompensate. He loathes “mainlanders” like Nathan, who he claims “disrupt” the island with hotels catering to tourists; he is also racist and disrespectful toward the Chinese Indonesian community gathering there. While Meddy and Nathan don’t initially fully consider him a threat, they are also aware of the power the sheriff can wield if given the grounds to do so.

“She [Fourth Aunt] nudges me playfully with her elbow. ‘I saw that kiss.’

My breath comes out in a heavy whoosh. Damn it. The last thing I need is one of my aunts finding out about my love life. ‘Please don’t tell the others.’

Fourth Aunt grins. ‘You have my word. Oho, I do so love knowing something your mother doesn’t! She doesn’t know about this, right?’”

Meddy kissed Nathan mainly as a distraction from the corpse cooler. Nonetheless, she chose that mechanism for distraction based on authentic romantic feelings, so she is upset on learning that a member of her family has witnessed it. While Fourth Aunt supports their relationship, she also seeks to gain from it—because Ma doesn’t know about it, Fourth Aunt gains power in their sibling rivalry. Fourth Aunt’s reaction therefore manifests the theme of Loyalty Versus Fear and Selfishness, as she prioritizes gaining ground in her sibling rivalry over Meddy’s wellbeing and feelings. Meddy is aware of this betrayal and hates it, both because of potential conflicts with Ma and because she doesn’t want her life to become fodder for aunt squabbles.

“‘Yes, got three of us, no need your Second Aunt,’ Big Aunt says.

Inside me, a star implodes. This. This right here is the real reason why Big Aunt got Ma and Fourth Aunt to move the cooler now, of all times. Because Big Aunt wants to prove that Second Aunt isn’t needed. [...] I can’t believe my aunts’ rivalry with each other is jeopardizing us getting away with murder.”

As with Ma and Fourth Aunt, Big Aunt and Second Aunt have their share of drama. Meddy is similarly frustrated, as once again, her family members are undermining their loyalty to her by indulging in selfish behavior. Meddy is often left to suffer the consequences of their arguments, and in this case, using the corpse as part of their sibling rivalry endangers all of them if anyone discovers the body.

“As we walk out of the room, I turn and catch a glimpse of Maureen giving Jacqueline a quick hug while speaking in a reassuring tone to her, and I’m glad that Jacqueline has such a good friend to lean on.”

Although Meddy doesn’t realize it yet, this scene foreshadows the truth of Maureen and Jacqueline’s relationship. While each woman pretends to be merely very close friends, in reality, they have been pining for each other for years. This intimate moment not only hints at Maureen’s real motivation to steal the wedding gifts, but also demonstrates how much better Maureen is as a partner for Jacqueline, compared to Tom Cruise Sutopo.

“‘This is probably the most important weekend of my career,’ Nathan says. ‘The success of this wedding will basically make or break the hotel.’”

Meddy’s family aren’t the only people who have a high stake in the wedding. Nathan’s career also hangs in the balance. However, this fact also provides Meddy with a small suggestion of hope: If Nathan’s hotel is successful, he is more likely to remain in the area. Therefore, Meddy has a higher chance of achieving her college dream, that is, living with Nathan, away—but not too far away—from her family. The catch is the corpse, both literally and metaphorically: Everyone assumes at first that the only way to preserve or achieve their happiness is by disposing of the corpse and by further burying their secrets. In the end, the opposite is true.

“Whoever said ‘It’s as hard as herding cats’ has obviously never tried to herd a group of Asian aunties.”

Meddy loves her family and their eccentricities, but each woman has her own exuberant personality. Given their proclivities toward drama, Meddy must keep them focused and remind them of practical priorities. Though she doesn’t realize it, doing this prepares her to assert herself later when she channels Big Aunt and pretends to be Nathan’s attorney.

“[Ma says,] ‘What family curse?’

[...]

Ma laughs. ‘You mean family blessing?’

[...]

‘Aiya, we call it curse at first because yes, of course we are sad that our husbands all leave us. But after few years we realize actually, is not a curse. It is family blessing. Because your papa leave me, I become even more close to your aunties. And they become more close to each other too, because they have no husband, no son. And you, they see you as their daughter. It’s like you grow up with four mothers. That is blessing, Meddy. We are very blessed, we have close family.’

My eyes fill with tears. All these years, I have never seen it that way, but Ma’s right. I did grow up with four mothers, and it really has been amazing. There’s been so much love in my life that I took for granted.”

When Meddy confesses her secret past relationship to Ma, she is relieved of a profound psychological burden. Meddy is also surprised by Ma’s empathy, which she did not expect. The theme of The Karmic Justice of Honesty and Lies is at work here, as Meddy’s honesty leads to relief, peace, and connection. This moment is also a turning point for Meddy, as she learns to examine her life from an alternate perspective: Rather than mourn what she’s lost, she should appreciate what she has and embrace the strength that comes with it.

“[Ma says,] ‘Aiya, you [Meddy] think you are the only one who go to school, is it? I go to college also, I know what you are talking about. At home, I am just Third Sister, no one special, not the oldest, not the youngest. Not the prettiest, not the smartest. But in school, I can be my own person. Not just Third Sister, but me. Natasya.’”

As Meddy learns to shift her perspective, she also learns to view her family as three-dimensional people, not just the flat exaggerations of their eccentricities. Meddy is not the only one with insecurities and the pressure of familial expectations—Ma was an adolescent once, too, with similar fears and desires. By realizing Ma empathizes with her, Meddy is more comfortable opening up to Ma as well.

“Tom’s striding everywhere, peering over the guards’ shoulders and snapping orders at them to look harder and faster. He actually says, ‘Look harder and faster,’ as if it makes one bit of goddamn sense. His eyes are alight. He looks more alive than I’ve seen him so far. He’s not liking this; he’s loving it. I decide then that I despise him. Jacqueline shouldn’t be with someone so abrasive and entitled. She has a sweet disposition, whereas Tom is everything but sweet. Over time, he’ll wear her down, strip her of her gentleness until only resentment remains, hard and sharp-edged.”

Meddy’s observation of Tom is relevant to the theme of Loyalty Versus Fear and Selfishness, drawing a stark example of someone indulging fully in selfishness when they should be focused on loyalty. Tom is power hungry, though he has no capacity for leadership; he craves respect, though he does nothing to earn it. In this moment, when Jacqueline, his future wife, should be his priority, he prioritizes his own selfish desires. Moreover, his horrible personality reinforces what Ma said about the family ‘curse’ actually being a blessing in disguise. The Chan women don’t need men in their lives to be whole and strong. Similarly, Jacqueline is better off without Tom—tying herself to him would only wear her down.

“This is so typical of them. Big Aunt and Second Aunt with their rivalry, Ma and Fourth Aunt with their jealousy. I can’t take another second of it, so while they argue with one another, I stalk off.”

While Meddy’s frustration with the aunties’ squabbles isn’t new, her reaction is. Before, she would remain nearby, her irritation increasing the longer they bicker. Now, Meddy removes herself from the situation—the aunties may continue arguing, but she doesn’t feel the need to be present for it; in fact, although she loves them, she’s probably better off with distance. This moment marks a shift in Meddy’s journey toward finding a balance in Familial Duty Versus Independence.

“I shirk away from her outstretched hand, and the hurt that slashes across her face enrages me even more. ‘I don’t need you to take care of me. I’m not a baby anymore, Ma. God, all of this is such a burden!’

They startle at the B-word. It’s their worst nightmare, to be a burden to their children.”

When Meddy’s frustration overflows, she lashes out. Although she regrets the delivery, she doesn’t regret the message—that she is an adult who wants to live her own life. However, just as she feels guilt when disappointing her elders, they in turn fear weighing down their children. The theme of Intergenerational Immigration is especially present in these respective fears. Meddy stating that her family is a burden, whether true or not, is a heavy blow, worse than anything the women may say to each other in their petty squabbles.

“‘You are so naughty ah!’ Ma scolds. ‘You don’t scare her like that again!’

To my surprise, Maureen looks contrite. ‘Sorry, Auntie. I won’t do that again.’”

Even as Maureen holds the Chans hostage, she instinctively defers to her elders. This moment demonstrates how ingrained it is to show respect for one’s elders. In addition, this moment, as well as Maureen’s unloaded gun, hints at Maureen’s true nature—she is not as ruthless as she is pretending to be. In this way, Maureen is a foil for power-hungry men like Tom and the sheriff. Within the context of the theme of Loyalty Versus Fear and Selfishness, Maureen is striving to be loyal despite her fear, while Tom and the sheriff are fully self-indulgent.

“My family, I tell you. They just know how to push all of my buttons. I’m never good enough for them, not even compared to a gun-toting homicidal robber.

Then I realize that the rage they’ve stirred up inside me has given me newfound strength. I’m so fired up. I need to find a way to prove them wrong, to show them that I’m not this useless ball of tears they seem to think I am.”

While Meddy is initially irritated at her family for once again poking at her flaws, she now knows to shift her perspective. Though still angry, she channels that rage into determination. This refocusing gives her strength and pushes her into acting, rather than hiding, which is what she has done up to this point. This shift is a major turning point for Meddy as she must assert herself and problem solve without depending on her family.

“‘Whenever something good or bad happens, the first person I turn to is Maureen. And now I can’t, because even she turned out to be a dirty traitor!’ She [Jacqueline] devolves into sobs again.”

Jacqueline’s misery hints at her own feelings for Maureen. While the two women are clearly close and Jacqueline was devastated by Maureen’s perceived betrayal, Jacqueline mourns the loss of their relationship. While the loss of any friendship is sad, the extent of her unhappiness foreshadows her romantic confession later.