Confessions of a Mask

Sonoko is Kochan’s primary romantic interest in the novel, although he expresses his experience of romantic attraction to her obliquely at best. She enters the novel as the 17-year-old sister of Kochan’s close friend Kusano. At first, Sonoko is characterized as having a childish sort of beauty; her “hair smelled like a child’s” (150), and she has the “kind of immodesty that becomes only a virgin” (194). Her characterization comes only through Kochan, who sees her as an embodiment of his own confused and ambivalent feelings about women. Like Kochan, she moves from adolescence into adulthood over the course of the novel, and as a result, she loses what appeal she possessed for him.

Sonoko does not often speak within the novel, and Kochan often describes her words and their conversations indirectly. All the same, she is characterized as kind, affectionate, polite, and strikingly direct given the rigid social codes that govern both her and Kochan’s behavior. She guides their relationship through love letters and unsubtle hints about what she expects from him, and she is unafraid to express her feelings to him and ask him questions like “Was it because you disliked me?” (237) after he breaks up with her. Her personality is what entrances Kochan. While he does not feel sexual attraction towards her, his platonic adoration for her permanently affects him, so much so that he feels he can never love another person by the end of the novel, even if he can still fantasize as he used to.

Sonoko serves within the novel as Kochan’s romantic interest, but she is far from a static figure. Rather, she additionally serves as a foil for his own internal monologue, forcing him to reckon with his own repressed, masked identity. Although she does not consciously do this, Kochan is unable to avoid himself when he is with her, even though he also longs to use her as protection from his own desires and perceived abnormality. She additionally shows more change than other characters throughout the novel. After her marriage, Kochan describes her as having matured; she is no longer reticent about things like nudity and openly expresses her opposition to improprieties. She and Kochan attempt to revive some form of their relationship, even platonically, but her growth and his refusal to acknowledge his real needs create a fundamental, unbridgeable disconnect that ends the novel in soft tragedy.

Omi is Kochan’s first romantic interest within the novel, although the relationship is one-sided. He is an older boy at Kochan’s middle school, a delinquent who has been held back several grades and has matured physically beyond the other boys as a result. Kochan devotes significant space within the novel to Omi’s physical appearance, describing him as muscular and strong. He describes how Omi, as a young adult, “filled his [uniform] with a sensation of solid weight and a sort of sexuality” (62). This physicality is the source of Kochan’s interest in Omi, and, as a result, almost the full extent of his characterization. Omi is a deliberately flat character because Kochan views and objectifies him as such; Kochan narrates moments where Omi’s real personality breaks through as obstacles for his fantasies.

As a result, Omi’s personality does not extend far beyond careless, wild, and crude, but Kochan praises him extensively for these limitations. He says, “How could anyone have expected such a person to have a secret inner life” (63) and expresses disappointment when Omi strays from the definition of “perfection” Kochan has developed as a framework for him. Omi becomes both Kochan’s first love and his definition of masculine excellence under this framework. He serves as the stimulus for Kochan’s sexual and emotional development; while Sonoko exists to remind him of the truth about himself, Omi is the character that causes that “truth” to take full form in the first place. He functions within the story as an object for Kochan’s affections, even though Kochan’s jealousy of his body eventually leads him to reject Omi as a love interest. Omi exits the narrative when he is expelled from school in disgrace, permanently cementing his characterization as a troubled delinquent.

Kochan characterizes his family as troubled by their recent social downfall, particularly his grandmother and grandfather, whose marriage is little but a charade. His grandmother is portrayed as controlling and neurotic; she takes possession of Kochan when he is an infant to “protect” him and does not let his own parents reclaim him until he is twelve. All the same, Kochan characterizes her with some respect, although he criticizes her unhealthy attachment to him. Kochan’s grandmother serves as the excuse other people offer for Kochan’s unmasculine behavior, although he does not adopt this excuse himself.

Kochan’s mother is described as “frail and beautiful” (5) and expresses little emotion in her brief appearances. She lowers her eyes in shame upon seeing Kochan wearing her kimono (18), which is enough to drive young Kochan to shame. Kochan’s mother serves as a controlling factor in his life, as he first develops his masks in an attempt to please her.

Kusano is one of Kochan’s only real friends within the novel. Kusano makes sparse appearances but is loyal and kind, trusting Kochan with his family while he is at war. Kochan regrets that the novel may damage their relationship but feels he has no choice but to write it (128). Kusano’s primary role in the narrative is to bring Kochan and Sonoko together, but he additionally humanizes Kochan, as Kochan genuinely enjoys his closeness with Kusano, even past the novel’s end.

Nukada is described as “frivolous” (119) and “not at all beautiful” (120), and, as such, Kochan feels comfortable using him to better understand women. Nukada is only of interest to Kochan because, unlike Kochan, he is not an honors student. Kochan develops an artificial crush on Nukada’s older sister as an excuse to spend time with Nukada. Nukada serves briefly as a foil to Omi, as Kochan uses them both to understand the world but does not develop the same obsession towards Nukada that he does towards Omi.

Yakumo is a 17-year-old boy at Kochan’s school. Kochan becomes attracted to him despite his comparative youth. Yakumo has “white, muscular arms” and a “slim waist” (126) but is not characterized with much personality. He serves as an object for Kochan’s attraction and allows Kochan to discuss his attraction to younger men.

T is characterized as a flirt and appears only briefly near the novel’s end. He is the first character to imply that he knows about Kochan’s sexuality, a suggestion that causes Kochan to panic. He functions exclusively as a marker that Kochan’s masks are breaking down whether he wants them to or not.