54 pages • 1 hour read
S. J. WatsonBefore I Go to Sleep
Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2011A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Part 1, Chapter 1Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Part 1: “Today, Friday, November 30”
Part 1, Chapter 1 Summary
Note: Before I Go to Sleep is divided into three parts. This summary subdivides the parts into chapters to make the text easier to navigate.
Christine Lucas wakes in an unfamiliar bedroom, believing she is in her twenties. Seeing a man lying next to her, she assumes she has had a one-night stand with an older, married man. In the bathroom, Christine is shocked to see a wedding ring on her finger. She looks in the mirror and appears to have aged at least 20 years. Beside the mirror are labeled photographs of herself and the stranger in the bed. The notes inform her that the man is her husband, Ben. Christine confronts the man in the bedroom, demanding to know what is happening. He tells her they have been married for 22 years, and Christine is 47. Christine’s memory is affected by a head injury she suffered when she was 29. Ben assures Christine that he loves her and will take care of her.
Ben shows Christine around their North London home. He gives her a scrapbook containing more photographs of her life. Ben explains that they go through this process most mornings as Christine’s memories are erased when she sleeps. He says that, before her accident, Christine earned a PhD in English and was employed as a secretary. She is now unable to work.
Ben leaves for his job as head of chemistry at a secondary school. He shows Christine a board in the kitchen where he writes suggested activities for the day. He reminds Christine there is a cell phone in her bag and that they are going away that evening to celebrate their anniversary.
Christine busies herself with domestic chores. She recognizes nothing in the house and cannot recall anything about her past. Examining her wrinkles in the mirror, she notes a fading bruise on her forehead. A cell phone rings in Christine’s bag, and the caller introduces himself as Dr. Nash. The doctor says he has been helping Christine to improve her memory, and they have an appointment arranged for that day. He explains that Christine’s husband does not know about their sessions and asks her to check her diary. Christine sees she has written down the appointment and a note saying, “Don’t tell Ben” (32). Dr. Nash tells Christine he will come to the house, as usual.
When Dr. Nash arrives, he is younger than Christine expected. They walk to a café in a nearby park. Dr. Nash explains he is a neurophysiologist with an interest in brain disorders affecting memory. He believes he can help Christine’s amnesia and is writing a research paper about her. Dr. Nash says that some days Christine wakes up believing she is in her twenties, and sometimes she thinks she is a child. He explains that Christine has only recently been well enough to leave the hospital and return home to her husband. Dr. Nash admits that he asked Christine not to tell Ben about their appointments. Medical professionals have frequently contacted her husband, but Ben is adamant that further treatment will not help his wife.
According to Dr. Nash, Christine’s memory has improved thanks to their sessions, although it varies from day to day. Christine suffers from long-term memory loss and anterograde amnesia: an inability to form new memories. She can retain short-term memories only until she falls asleep. Dr. Nash confirms Ben’s claim that Christine’s amnesia was caused by “an accident.” Handing her a journal, he says she will learn more about her condition by reading it. Christine has been writing in the journal for several weeks and gave it to him to read a few days earlier. Dr. Nash calls Christine daily to remind her where the journal is hidden.
Dr. Nash tells Christine to call him if she wants to continue with their appointments after reading the journal. He notices the bruise on her head, but Christine says she does not know how she got it. As they part, Christine reveals that she and Ben are going to the coast for the weekend. Back at home, Christine begins to read her journal. The first page reads, “DON’T TRUST BEN” (46).
Part 1, Chapter 1 Analysis
The opening lines introduce Christine Lucas, the protagonist of Before I Go to Sleep. Christine’s first-person narration immediately immerses the reader in her disorienting world. She says, “The bedroom is strange. Unfamiliar. I don’t know where I am, how I came to be here. I don’t know how I’m going to get home” (17). The protagonist’s troubled emotional state and unreliable perception are common suspense-building features of the psychological thriller.
Watson creates a tense, nightmarish atmosphere as Christine cannot identify her surroundings or the man she has woken up with. Worse still, without memory, she has a tenuous sense of identity, introducing the novel’s exploration of the Relationship Between Memory and Identity. The reader’s understanding of the situation is limited to Christine’s severely restricted knowledge.
Christine’s assumption that the slippers and bathrobe in the bedroom belong to a “much older” woman and her shock at seeing her reflection introduce the theme of The Aging Process. Having lost 20 years of her life to amnesia, Christine continually struggles to reconcile her actual age with the age she feels she should be.
Early on, the author establishes an atmosphere of domestic noir through the narrator’s reaction to her surroundings. Although the home is traditionally associated with a sense of comfort and safety, Christine’s home is an unsettling, unfamiliar place to her. Her feeling that the contents have nothing to do with her is illustrated in her dislike of the antique clock on the mantel: an item that becomes a recurring motif referring to the passing of time. Even the flat-screen TV and cell phone seem alien to Christine as these technological advances are new to her. Christine’s disconnection from her home is illustrated in her figurative description of “mov[ing] through the house, from room to room. Slowly. Drifting, like a wraith” (28).
Watson emphasizes how his protagonist’s amnesia leaves her “as vulnerable as a child” (34). Her world is limited to Ben and Dr. Nash; without memory to guide her, she must trust what they say. Ben’s claims seem authentic as he lives with Christine and has photographic evidence of their history. However, there are also clues to Ben’s duplicitousness. The scrapbook of photographs he shows Christine is made of faux leather: a hint that many of the images he presents are fake. Christine’s casual mention of a bruise on her head is evidence of Ben’s recent violent outburst. Also present in this chapter are hints that Ben may not want Christine’s memory to improve. His opposition to further medical intervention is noted, while his assertion that Christine doesn’t “do anything” implies that her life is small and purposeless.
The introduction of Dr. Nash creates a sense of mystery. Christine says of Dr. Nash, “There is some part of me that trusts this man, but another, larger part tells me he could be anyone” (34). Readers share this uncertainty as the doctor’s home visits seem unprofessional, raising suspicion over his motives. Readers might also wonder why Christine keeps their appointments secret from her husband. Christine’s meeting with Dr. Nash introduces the motif of the journal, which becomes essential in Christine’s growing ability “to maintain a thread of memory from one day to the next” (42). Ominously, the first words she reads in it are “DON’T TRUST BEN” (46), intensifying the atmosphere of foreboding and suspense.
Ben’s mention of their trip to the coast that evening foreshadows Christine’s second traumatic attack in Brighton: an ordeal described in the novel’s final section (Part 3). From this point forward, the chronology of Christine’s narrative is disrupted as her journal entries in Part 2 begin three weeks earlier.
