54 pages • 1 hour read
S. J. WatsonBefore I Go to Sleep
Fiction | Novel | Adult | Published in 2011A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Character Analysis
Christine Lucas
Christine Lucas is the protagonist and first-person narrator of the novel. She is 47 but lost her memory when she was assaulted at 29. Sometimes she believes she is 20 years younger, and sometimes she thinks she is a child. As Christine has anterograde and retrograde amnesia, her capacity as a reliable narrator is severely restricted. She cannot recall past events, and new memories disappear when she sleeps. Consequently, Christine wakes each day with no concept of who or where she is.
Christine survives, she says, like “an animal. Living from moment to moment, day to day, trying to make sense of the world” (316). Readers share her uncertain, disoriented viewpoint as she pieces together the information available to her. The narrator’s anxiety and paranoia create corresponding emotions in the reader.
At the beginning of the novel, Christine’s lack of contextual knowledge makes her feel, she says, as if she is “floating […], completely without anchor, at the mercy of the wind” (110). Her world is claustrophobic and narrow, confined to the four walls of her home and her husband, Ben. Without a narrative of her own, Christine is vulnerable and entirely dependent on her husband’s version of events. She has no identity beyond that of a dependent wife.
Christine’s narrative arc traces her quest for memory and a secure sense of identity: concepts intrinsically linked in the novel. She leaves the confines of her house to meet Claire, Dr. Nash, and other medical professionals. She also discovers new aspects of her identity, crucially learning that she is a mother and published author. Her character evolves, gaining a new agency and independence. The journal Christine keeps throughout the novel is key to this character development, allowing her, she says, to “tell my story, my autobiography. To create myself from nothing” (290).
Mike / Ben
Throughout most of the novel, Christine’s former lover, Mike, impersonates her husband, Ben. Both Christine and readers perceive Mike as Ben until he reveals his identity in a plot twist near the novel’s end. He is the story’s antagonist but poses as Christine’s caretaker and savior.
Mike is an insecure character driven by an obsessive desire for control. After causing Christine’s amnesia in a brutal attack years earlier, he exploits her condition to his advantage. Christine’s memory loss allows Mike to manipulate her perception of reality. His control of what Christine sees and knows is symbolized in the locked box where he keeps photographs of Christine’s son. Mike psychologically abuses Christine through a combination of gaslighting and coercive control. He undermines her self-worth by claiming she never became a novelist or a mother. He also physically abuses Christine, hitting her and subjecting her to sex that she is in no position to fully consent to. His denial of events Christine remembers makes her doubt her sanity.
Mike’s deception relies on Christine never recovering her memory, so he opposes medical interventions that might help. He also ensures she is isolated from friends like Claire, who knew her before her amnesia. As the plot progresses, Christine gradually uncovers Mike’s lies. However, as she believes that Mike is Ben, she cannot be certain if his intentions are malign or if he wants to protect her from distress. Christine wavers between feeling she is a burden to her husband and believing she cannot trust him. However, her inability to love Mike and her aversion to sexual intimacy indicate her subconscious knowledge that he is not her husband.
Dr. Nash
Dr. Nash is a neurophysiologist who specializes in the impact of brain trauma on memory. He plays a key role in helping Christine recover her memories and identity when he advises her to keep a journal. However, in the process, Christine becomes dependent on him calling each day to remind her the journal exists. Christine’s unhealthy reliance on Ben transfers to Dr. Nash, causing her to reflect, “What would happen if one day he decides never to call again? I would never find [the journal], never read it, never even know it existed. I would not know my own past” (178).
Christine’s sexual attraction to Dr. Nash is an expression of her confused sense of identity. Although Christine is significantly older than him, Dr. Nash is approximately the age Christine was when she lost her memory. Christine is drawn to him as the kind of man her younger self may have desired. The attraction is also influenced by Christine’s emotional needs. Unable to feel intimacy with her husband, she seeks it with the man she hopes will cure her. Christine is embarrassed when Dr. Nash gently rebuffs her attempt to seduce him, but her actions signal her increasing sense of agency.
Dr. Nash is a morally ambiguous character. Although he helps Christine, it is unclear whether he feels genuine compassion for her or sees her as an opportunity to further his career. Like Mike, Dr. Nash plays God with Christine, selecting what he tells her and deciding what is good for her. For example, after reading Christine’s journal, he does not tell her that her husband lied about the cause of her amnesia. While his intentions may be good, he maintains a subtle patriarchal authority over his patient.
Dr. Nash’s professional methods are also questionable. In Chapter 13, readers suspicions are raised when Dr. Nash arrives at Christine’s house, claiming an appointment Christine does not believe exists. The narrative never establishes if Christine is correct or whether this is an example of her unreliable memory. Although Dr. Nash stops Christine when she kisses him, there are several incidents when he places a comforting hand on Christine’s. Such incidents raise questions about his professional ethics.
Claire
For much of the novel, Claire only exists in Christine’s fleeting memories. She appears as the free-spirited, red-haired young woman who was Christine’s best friend in college. When Christine thinks of Claire, she remembers her warmth, loyalty, and vibrance. She also feels the unconditional love that existed between them. Claire epitomizes the solidarity of sisterhood: a factor missing from Christine’s life since her memory loss. She also represents Christine’s pre-amnesiac identity, reminding the protagonist that she was once fun-loving and carefree.
While Mike attempts to keep Christine away from Claire, she finally contacts her in the second half of the narrative. Although Claire admits to a brief affair with Ben years earlier, the bond between the women remains unchanged. Like Christine, Claire is now a middle-aged woman, and the changes in her underline the novel’s exploration of the aging process.
Ben
Christine’s real husband, Ben, finally appears in the concluding pages of Before I Go to Sleep. However, clues to his appearance and character are planted throughout the novel. Ben is the man with the scarred cheek glimpsed by Christine in her memories and an image shown to her in the MRI machine. He is an architect, a vegan, and a loving father and husband. Despite learning that Christine was having an affair, Ben forgave his wife and campaigned for her to receive the best medical care while looking after their son, Adam. Although Ben divorced Christine, he did so partly for altruistic reasons, concluding that his visits unnecessarily distressed her. At the novel’s end, he confirms that he has never stopped loving Christine.
Adam
Like his father, Adam only appears in the novel’s final pages. For most of Christine’s narrative, she believes he died at 19, serving as a Royal Marine in Afghanistan. In reality, Adam works in computing and lives with his girlfriend, Helen, in Birmingham.
Adam’s character facilitates the novel’s exploration of motherhood. When Christine learns that Mike concealed all traces of Adam, she finds it difficult to forgive, even when Mike claims he was sparing her the knowledge of his death. Although Mike continually asserts that Adam is dead, faking evidence to support the claim, Christine does not believe it. Despite having few clear memories of Adam, she feels “that he is part of me and without him I am incomplete” (226). Knowing that her son is alive motivates Christine to battle for her life in her climactic confrontation with Mike.
