At Swim-Two-Birds

Lamont interrupts Finn’s story to ask why Sweeny jumps everywhere. Shanahan explains that because of the priest’s curse, “your man becomes a bloody bird” (70). The characters discuss how the Irish people have long been renowned for their ability to jump. Lamont describes Sergeant Craddock, who was a famed long jumper. Craddock first jumped a great distance in the Gaelic League Sports competition to prove that he was not an English spy. A man named Bagenal was the champion jumper in all of Ireland, but Craddock beat him. Finn returns to his story and describes the death of Mad Sweeny.

The student’s writing is interrupted by the arrival of his uncle, accompanied by “an elderly man of slight build” (77) named Mr. Corcoran. When the student’s uncle criticizes his nephew’s laziness, Corcoran complains about his fussy, studious son Tom. The uncle quizzes the student on religious matters; Corcoran interrupts them by revealing that he has brought a gramophone with him. Corcoran and the uncle set up the gramophone and play records. Corcoran sneezes and, as the student’s uncle helps Corcoran clean the “mucous discharge” (79) from the front of his suit, the student collects his papers and goes to his bedroom. Hearing the music through the walls, he decides to go out.

On the street, the student spots his friend Kerrigan and accompanies him to the home of Michael Byrne, a mutual acquaintance whose house is “frequently the scene of scholarly and other disputations” (80). At Byrne’s house, they discuss the importance of sleep. The student mentions that a character in his novel, Trellis, is addicted to sleep. He reads an excerpt of the manuscript to the others.

Trellis reads only books with green covers, as any color except green is a symbol of “evil” (83). Books on Irish history often have green covers, so he’s something of an expert in this subject, while books such as the Bible elude him. When three books on his bedside table one morning turned blue, Trellis had them burned.

The student explains to Brinsley that Furriskey and Peggy slip a sleeping draught to Trellis so that he sleeps most of the day and therefore they have more freedom. Trellis was asleep so often that Furriskey and Peggy were able to open and operate a small confectionary store—but dashed back to the hotel whenever Trellis awoke. Meanwhile, Shanahan and Lamont take “to drink and bad company” (84) and are nearly stolen away into a different story by two deaf, mute, and decadent Greek scullions named Timothy Danaos and Dona Ferentes.

The student describes the Pooka, Fergus MacPhellimey. Fergus wakes up beside his wife to a knock at his door. He lights his pipe and invites the knocker into the room. The knocker introduces himself as the Good Fairy, a tiny fairy who has come to talk to Fergus. They discuss the nature of spirits, the humanity of kangaroos, odd and even numbers, and tails. Eventually, the fairy reveals that they need to talk about Sheila Lamont, who is currently suffering from the “very old complaint” (91) of pregnancy after being raped by Trellis. She is expected to give birth the following evening; the Pooka (Fergus) and the fairy will go together to the birth at the Red Swan Hotel and compete for influence over the child’s life. Fergus dresses, cleans his house, and says goodbye to his wife. As Fergus walks through the woods, the Good Fairy guides him from inside his pocket. They argue about whether the thorns and brambles will tear Fergus’s coat.

While traveling, they encounter two armed men named Slug Willard and Shorty Andrews. The two men are searching for a lost steer. After an initial disagreement between the fairy and Shorty, they all set off together. They talk about William Tracy, collect fruit from the forest as a gift for Sheila, and then discover the working-class poet Jem Casey in a bush. Casey claims that he was “reciting a pome to a selection of [his] friends” (97). Casey and the fairy disagree over the working-class strikes in Ireland; Casey defends the working class, while the fairy claims that “Bolshevism will be the next step” (98). Casey recites a poem that extols the virtues of the “workin’ man” (99) and then joins the group on the way to the Red Swan. When the fairy spots someone in a distant tree, the characters argue about kangaroos and marsupials until the voice belonging to Sweeny floats down from the tree and recites a mournful poem about why he will refuse to come down from his branch. Eventually, the disheveled and slightly feathered Sweeny falls from the tree. After plugging Sweeny’s wounds with moss and speculating on whether he is drunk, they welcome Sweeny into their group and take him along with them to the Red Swan Hotel.