Anything Is Possible

“‘I just like to check on you every so often,’ Tommy said. ‘You know, neighbor to neighbor. You live here all alone. Seems to me a neighbor should check in once in a while.’”

Tommy’s neighborly kindness indicates both his character and his community. He represents the agrarian symbol of a helpful neighbor in a community in which the unpredictability of rural life requires tight-knit relationships with the people around you. Tommy’s kindness extends to Pete, whom many other townspeople dismiss. Tommy is unconditionally kind to Pete, which highlights Tommy’s character as pure good, as pure as his belief in God.

“And so there’s a struggle, or a contest, I guess you could say, all the time, it seems to me. And remorse, well, to be able to show remorse—to be able to be sorry about what we’ve done that’s hurt other people—that keeps us human.” 

Tommy’s reflection that what keeps us human is our ability to feel sorry for the hurt we’ve done to others reflects his community spirit and his religious faith. In both successful communities and the Judeo-Christian faith, individuals are encouraged to take account of their flaws and be aware of their mistakes so that the entire community can grow and be better. Like other quotes, this one exemplifies Tommy’s truly kind manner. He’s unable to hold resentments about the past and sees how regret enslaves other people in his community. In addition, he expresses the idea that feeling sorry for the hurt we’ve done, embracing our good sides, is a contest. This reflects Tommy’s faith in God as well as his belief in people to ultimately try to do good. His positive attitude contrasts with Peter’s sullenness and internalization of his painful past.

“And then Tommy understood: that what he had kept from her their whole lives was, in fact, easily acceptable to her, and what he would keep from her now—his doubt (his sudden belief that God had never come to him)—was a new secret replacing the first.”

It takes decades for Tommy to realize that he didn’t have to keep his message from God a secret from his wife. This realization is prompted by the threatening feeling of foreboding that God never did come to him. Because Tommy never told his wife about his revelation, he feels that he now can’t tell her about his crisis of faith. This moment highlights the importance of open communication between people—and the challenge of balancing doubt and belief.

“Patty came into the town that had changed very little since she had grown up there.”

The characterization of the town having changed little is symbolic. In keeping the town preserved in its past, Strout parallels the physical town with her characters’ constant reflections about the past. This symbolizes the town itself as a vortex in which characters are kept stuck in their past lives and anxieties. It also highlights the contrast between Patty and Lucy, the hometown author who left for New York and changed her life in ways that people who stayed behind, like Patty, can’t.

“Wait for me, she whispered. Because she knew—she almost knew—that when she died she would be with her father and Sibby again. Thank you, she whispered, because her father had just told her it was good of her to take care of her mother. He was generous now in this way; death had given that to him.”

This quote highlights important but subtle dynamics that can inform familial relationships. For Patty, death creates a distance between her and her father that gives her the space to miss him and hope for their reunion. Looking back at her father’s life, she can see that he was generous, but it takes his death and Patty’s lack of access to him for her to see her father in this light. Furthermore, from the dead, Patty’s father gives her the strength to care for her mother, a flawed woman and imperfect mother. In the thick of her upbringing and in the aftermath of her mother’s affair, Patty had to survive through the trauma of her family’s separation without reflection; she can now look to her past to inform her present, thus keeping the memory of her father alive.

“She and her sisters watched as their father wept. They watched as he swore, and became stony-faced. He had been none of these things before, not a weeper, or a swearer, or a stony-faced man. And he became all these things, and the family—they had all just been innocently sitting in a boat on a lake, it seemed like—was gone, turned into something never imagined. The town talked and talked. Patty, being the youngest, had to wait it through the longest.”

Patty’s life-changing family disruption haunts her well into her adulthood, partly because she stayed in the town that “talked and talked.” Here, Strout emphasizes two major points of hurt. The first is the remarkable change in her father’s character—and the fear and lack of stability this inspired in Patty. The second is the doubled hurt of her community’s ceaseless judgment. This flashback foreshadows adult Patty’s shame and pain as well as her inability to move past her family’s reputation.

“In Lucy Barton’s memoir, Lucy wrote how people were always looking to feel superior to someone else, and Patty thought this was true.”

Lucy Barton fills the role of cultural commentator and historical analyzer of Patty’s town and, by extension, her past. Through Lucy’s distanced but acute point of view, Patty starts viewing herself and her past through a new lens. Patty pulls this lesson about the drive for superiority as a way of understanding her job, her past, and her present. This quote emphasizes the importance of Lucy Barton’s influence—an influence made important because of Lucy’s simultaneous identity as a member of the town’s community and as an outsider.

“Now, as Patty drove into her driveway and saw the lights she’d left on, she realized that Lucy Barton’s book had understood her. That was it—the book had understood her. There remained that sweetness of a yellow-colored candy in her mouth. Lucy Barton had her own shame; oh boy did she have her own shame. And she had risen right straight out of it.”

This passage emphasizes two important symbols. The first is the book as a nurturing space that can teach us about ourselves. That a book about a book provides revelation for Patty promotes the power of literature as a vehicle for identity forming and understanding self. Additionally, this quote establishes Lucy Barton as a symbol for the level of success and depth of self-analysis that can occur when someone leaves their home behind them.

“He observed the way her eyes would not look at him directly, and he thought that he hated dishonesty—or lack of courage—more than anything.”

Here, Charlie’s hypocrisy is highlighted. Charlie hates dishonesty, yet he lies to his wife and keeps his affair a secret from her. Charlie ironically acts in the exact manner he derides. This highlights Charlie’s imperfections as indicative of everyone’s imperfections. Judging others is easy when we have our own secrets to keep. Far more difficult is Charlie’s honest relationship with himself, which mirrors the inner conflict that connects many of the characters and leads them to genuine and productive self-reflection.

“And because he was Charlie, who years ago had fouled himself profoundly, because he was Charlie and not someone else, he could not say to his son: You are decent and strong, and none of this has anything to do with me; but you came through it, that childhood that wasn’t all roses, and I’m proud of you, I’m amazed by you.”

Although Charlie isn’t honest with himself about his relationship with his wife or with his lover, Charlie has a specific sense of self when it comes to his son. Here, Strout emphasizes Charlie’s inability to be affectionate and supportive of his son with words and actions. Still, Charlie recognizes this as a flaw in himself, which adds layers to his character. Without his self-acknowledgement about how he treats his son, Charlie would be too one-dimensional in his lack of self-awareness. Additionally, this passage emphasizes the possibility of cyclical traumas: If Charlie can’t be affectionate with his son, then his son won’t learn how to appreciate himself, just as Charlie doesn’t know how to appreciate himself.

“Those days seemed like ancient times, back when character was thought to mean everything, as though character were the altar before which all decency bowed. That science now showed genetics to be determinative just threw that character stuff right over the waterfall.”

Here, Charlie becomes the symbol of characters who live in the past. The world passes by Charlie quickly; even his veteran group meetings are mostly populated by young men from a newer war. While everyone has seemed to move on from the past, Charlie still struggles to learn how to be part of the present. This quote emphasizes that conflict. Charlie’s singular gaze on past beliefs and norms that he once thought immutable motivates questions about whether people can change their minds and whether people can change. Here, the emphasis on character versus genetics is particularly notable, as character would be something people are raised to have or learn to have, but Charlie is hardly the novel’s model of good character.

“You never get used to pain, no matter what anyone says about it. But now, for the first time, it occurred to him—could it really be the first time this had occurred to him?—that there was something far more frightening: people who no longer felt pain at all. He had seen it in other men—the blankness behind the eyes, the lack that then defined them.”

This quote emphasizes the effects of trauma on the human psyche and demonstrates Charlie’s ultimate strength despite all his flaws: Charlie embraces all his feelings, even pain. This foreshadows that Charlie still has a way to redeem his life because he hasn’t given up on his emotions, which means he hasn’t given up on interacting with the world around him. The other men who are defined by their blankness have truly hit rock bottom, giving Charlie hope that he can revive his happiness and be whole again.

“How did you ever know? You never knew anything, and anyone who thought they knew anything—well, they were in for a great big surprise.”

Strout’s characters learn, each in their own way, that life is unplannable and full of good and bad surprises. This quote emphasizes the theme that life is unpredictable. Characters who embrace this theme live life with little regret and with compassion, but characters who have yet to learn this lesson are often stuck in the past, full of resentment. Mary is the prime example of a character who embraces life; although she has endured much pain, she chooses to live her life to the fullest, fully knowing that all plans and perceptions of knowledge can be derailed in an instant.

“Both of them laughed until they had tears in their eyes, and even then they kept on laughing. But Mary thought: Not one thing lasts forever; still, may Angelina have this moment for the rest of her life.”

This moment demonstrates the importance of forming happy memories. Life is difficult, but when characters spend their emotional energy on their unhappy memories, it becomes difficult for them to embrace their present and live happily. Mary knows that happy memories can help one stay resilient through life’s harder times. In hoping that Angelina will remember their laughter, Mary hopes that Angelina will look back on her life with happiness instead of regret.

“Pete wondered about this, what it would be like to be that free, to touch people so freely. He would have liked—only not really—to put his own hand on his sister’s arm right now, this sister who had put on lipstick to see the famous Lucy. Instead he sat quietly next to her.”

Pete’s desire for human touch and his inability to express his love for his sister through affection shows both the power of his upbringing and the power of his love. Although Pete may not always be able to express himself, he loves his sisters deeply. Pete kept in touch with those feelings despite the traumatic upbringing he and his sisters endured. He sees how other families express love and realizes that he's incapable of that form of expression. However, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t feel that love. Strout emphasizes that there are diverse ways to express love.

“She thought that this matter of different cultures was a fact that got lost in the country these days. And culture included class, which of course nobody ever talked about in this country, because it wasn’t polite, but Dottie also thought people didn’t talk about class because they didn’t really understand what it was.”

Dottie’s analysis of class and culture is important to Strout’s characterization of the people of Amgash. Midwestern mannerisms are inherent throughout the novel, but in Chapter 7 they’re juxtaposed with the behavior typical of people from the East coast. This quote emphasizes the multilayered nature of identity. Class and culture work together, but if people don’t really know what class entails, then they can never quite understand their culture. This means that people will be perpetually lost in their understandings of themselves. Dottie, who owns a bed-and-breakfast, has a better understanding of culture and class due to the diversity of the people she meets in her line of work. This moment is especially notable because Dottie’s adult life no longer parallels her wretchedly impoverished past, so people won’t know how her culture and class evolved over the years as she made the effort to know people more complex. The quote also emphasizes the setting and symbol of Amgash as a microcosm of a larger, diverse country.

“To listen to a person is not passive. To really listen is active, and Dottie had really listened. And Dottie thought that Shelly’s problems, her humiliations, were not large when you considered what was happening in the world.”

This quote highlights two important concepts. The first is the importance of active listening. Many characters in this novel struggle to express themselves, which keeps them isolated from their family, friends, or inner selves. Dottie has a sharp sense of how to actively listen, which helps her learn about the world and therefore, about herself. The second is the hierarchy of problems. Shelly takes her problems very seriously, as is natural. However, Dottie has the benefit of a life of struggling and learning to know that Shelly’s problems are more surface-level than Shelly might think. This quote demonstrates Dottie’s beliefs about culture and class; because Shelly is of a certain socioeconomic class, she has the resources to deal with her problems and is thereby less worthy of sympathy. Still, Dottie understands that Shelly, like other people, can’t help but place her problems at the center of her universe.

“It was not the sound of applause Annie liked—in fact, she often barely heard it—it was the moment onstage when she knew she had left the world and fully joined another. Not unlike the feelings of ecstasy she’d had in the woods as a child.”

Annie’s disembodiment is an important coping mechanism in her journey to self-understanding. Annie is most in tune with herself when she’s in a metacognitive space. Annie is one of the few characters who has the gift of a space she can access to explore herself. This gives her confidence and satisfaction, despite the challenges life brings. Joining other worlds is, for Annie, not escapism. Rather, it’s a direct confrontation of her most human thoughts and emotions.

“His concern—his love—for her was genuine, yet the responsibility he felt toward her revolted him in a way he’d admit to no one. It was because she was alone and unhappy, he thought, his eyes opening. But she might not be unhappy, and she might not be alone either…”

This quote, which highlights an important thread that connects the novel’s last three chapters, is based on the idea that you can’t truly know another person. Here, Abel assumes that his sister Dottie is lonely and unhappy. However, he soon stops this train of thought, realizing that it’s just as likely that Dottie isn’t lonely or unhappy at all. Abel feels a responsibility for his sister, even in their old age. Although this sometimes makes him feel resentful toward her, he ultimately appreciates the duty to family and the lives that he and his sister have created.

“After many years of marriage things get said, scenes occur, and there is a cumulative effect as well. All this sped through Abel’s heart, that the tenderness between husband and wife had long been attenuating and that he might have to live the rest of his life without it.”

Abel’s understanding that his marriage has changed and will continue to change parallels many other characters’ memories of the happier days in their relationships. Notably different here is that Abel doesn’t connect this change with future problems. Instead, he accepts this change as natural and normal in a life spent with another person. Although he may not feel the same tenderness toward his wife that he used to feel, Abel is secure in the happiness of his family. Thus, Abel’s character proves that people can find happiness even in a situation that isn’t ideal or is sad.

“A private nail of shame was driven into his chest; he could feel himself perspire. He remembered how earlier he’d thought of people reciting a line, and he understood now that he was one of them.”

This moment exemplifies the issues with self-perception. Strout uses it to demonstrate the idea that people hold certain beliefs about their authentic selves but that those beliefs serve only to highlight their inauthenticity. Here, Abel realizes that he hasn’t been totally honest in his self-perception. Still, reciting a line to help you navigate the world and people around you isn’t a flaw. It’s a part of Abel’s very human experience in forming his sense of self.

“What puzzled Abel about life was how much one forgot but then lived with anyway—like phantom limbs, he supposed.”

What Abel is describing here is resilience, a thread that connects many of the characters. If people can forget about certain things in life, they can move forward and, possibly, move toward happiness. However, this can be a double-edged sword because forgetting certain things can also be a sign of repression. Abel’s allusion to the phantom limb is notable here; the past is never totally absent, but one can live with it and not acknowledge it.

“Even while he voted as a conservative, even while he took his annual bonus from the board, even while he ate in the best restaurants Chicago offered, and even while most of him thought what he had thought for years, I will not apologize for being rich, he did apologize, but to whom precisely he did not know.”

One of Abel’s phantom limbs is his impoverished childhood. Abel never got used to being rich even though he goes through the motions of wealth and appreciates his secure life. Abel’s past doesn’t prevent him from living happily in his present, though the past occasionally creeps up behind him. Abel recognizes his own hard work, but he also knows that his wealth comes from his marriage. Thus, Abel doesn’t believe that he has earned everything he has in life. Abel’s hypothetical apologies are a metaphor for the traumas he still endures; namely, that he got out of poverty when other people couldn’t. Because Abel wasn’t raised to believe in himself, as an older man he still carries the shame of poverty. In a way, Abel sees his wealthy life as a farce despite its being genuinely happy and safe. That Abel feels the need to apologize for his wealthy life demonstrates his compassion, his cyclical insecurity in himself, and his resilience to move through these unnecessary apologies.