An Anonymous Girl: A Novel

On November 30, Jessica returns for another in-person session with Dr. Shields and spends most of the time talking about herself and her family. She realizes that the lies she tells her parents about work and Becky’s medical bills are not entirely her own doing. At the end of the session, Dr. Shields gives Jessica an expensive nail polish that Jessica admired and a check for $600.

Jessica meets Lizzie for her birthday. The man at the lounge, Sanjay, tells Jessica that Noah left his card for her, which promises a free breakfast. Jessica and Lizzie talk about their Thanksgivings, and when Lizzie asks for help with her makeup the next week, Jessica declines and realizes she has to lie about the reason; she is not allowed to mention the study to her at all.

Dr. Shields observes that Jessica is wearing the nail polish and seems more comfortable than ever. This remains the case until Dr. Shields brings up one of the first questions ever asked of Jessica: whether she has hurt someone she loved. Jessica reveals that she was 13 when her sister, Becky, whom she was babysitting, fell off the roof. This changed both their and their parents’ lives forever and remains the defining moment of Jessica’s life. Dr. Shields watches as Jessica breaks down and shakes violently after telling the story and puts a warm cashmere shawl around her. When Jessica leaves, Dr. Shields tells her to keep the shawl—something she planned in advance.

Jessica goes to the restaurant where she saw Dr. Shields and orders wine, sitting at the same table and wearing the wrap Dr. Shields gave her. She thinks about how she just revealed her deepest secret to Dr. Shields. She recalls how, when she was 13 and Becky was seven, she was left to babysit her for the summer. One day, Jessica left Becky locked in their parents’ bedroom while she went out, and Becky tried to escape through the window and fell. Jessica never told her parents that she locked Becky in, which still weighs on her: “I didn’t know the omission would continue to swell and gain in strength with every passing year” (87). Suddenly, Jessica realizes that telling Dr. Shields her darkest secret may have dire consequences and wonders what she plans to do with the information Jessica provides.

Dr. Shields goes home to her expensive but empty house and thinks about how her life used to be filled with more substance when her husband, Thomas, was there. She met Thomas—who is also a therapist—one night after an angry patient turned off the power in the building and Dr. Shields had to make her way out in the dark. In that moment of panic, she met Thomas, and within six months, they were married. Dr. Shields remarks that “everybody liked Thomas” (91), but she was the only one who loved him.

Jessica decides to track down Taylor and ask her what she knows about Dr. Shields. When Jessica admits that she took Taylor’s place in the study, Taylor seems perturbed but gives Jessica the number of a classmate who was also involved. This classmate, Amy, reveals to Jessica that she did the first part of the study and that she was asked about lying on medical records—something she had just done days before. Amy also notes that Dr. Shields is a respected professor at the university, which leads Jessica to suspend her suspicions for the moment.

In her clinical manner, Dr. Shields narrates her actions as she goes out into the night to find out if her husband, Thomas, is still cheating on her. His previous cheating is the reason for their separation, and current attempts to reconcile involve his promises to never do so again. When he cancels dinner plans, citing a work emergency, Dr. Shields goes to his building to see if he was telling the truth. She finds his motorcycle outside and the light in his office on and tells herself she worried for nothing; then, a woman goes into the building, and moments later, Thomas’s office blinds close. Dr. Shields decides that rather than confronting Thomas, she must wait and determine if she is seeing what she thinks she is seeing.

Jessica makes her way to a makeup appointment before heading to Dr. Shields’s for a session. She arrives at the home of an older woman who is having her makeup done for her 42nd anniversary. Jessica is worried about being late for Dr. Shields and tries to rush the woman. Jessica receives a text from Noah asking to meet up and another from Dr. Shields requesting that she pick up a package for her on the way.

Dr. Shields imagines Jessica as she picks up the package and makes her way to the office. She thinks about whether Jessica would let curiosity take over and peek inside or not. When Jessica arrives, she seems confident and assured, and Dr. Shields believes she did not open the package. She opens it to reveal a glass falcon and explains that she plans to give it to her husband. The falcon is sculpted in a pose that suggests it is getting ready to attack its prey. Jessica questions why Dr. Shields never had a wedding ring on before, and Dr. Shields lies and says it was being fixed.

Jessica is shocked to hear that there will be nothing further needed from her today. Before leaving, she asks Dr. Shields what the information from the study will be used for, and Dr. Shields assures her it will remain confidential. Jessica leaves, wondering if she somehow disappointed Dr. Shields and envisioning the type of husband she might have. She decides to text Dr. Shields and tell her not to worry about payment for today but receives no reply. She realizes she is still wearing the wrap, and when it gets caught and nearly strangles her in the subway doors, Jessica is shocked once again. A third surprise comes when she gets a call from Amy, who tells her that Dr. Shields recently took a leave of absence from teaching.

Dr. Shields continues to reflect on her relationship with Thomas and how it was destroyed by his affair. After a text that was meant for another woman was sent to Dr. Shields, Thomas confessed and moved out the same night. Despite this, Dr. Shields offered forgiveness, worked with Thomas in therapy, and started dating him again but eventually came to suspect that he was still cheating. During Jessica’s first session, she was presented with the question, “Is it possible to look someone you love in the eye and lie without experiencing remorse?” (123). Jessica’s affirmation led Dr. Shields to suspect that Thomas was lying to her again. Dr. Shields hints that the next phase of the experiment is about to begin and calls it “The Temptation of Infidelity: A Case Study” (125). She looks to Jessica as the variable that will determine if her husband is still cheating.