Americanized: Rebel without a Green Card

As a 16-year-old, Sara feels she is “behind the curve” in sexual experiences since she has never dated anyone or been kissed. Sara desperately wants to attend her junior prom with friends, but they all have dates. She finds her dream dress, and her mom promises she will buy it if Sara asks her longtime crush, Evan Parker, to take her to prom. When Sara calls Evan, he claims he does not have enough money for prom and will need to ask his mother. A week later, Evan tells Sara his mother will not give him the money, and he cannot afford to take her to prom. Evan’s response hurts Sara, but her mother tells her it is better to put herself out there than never try. Sara appreciates her mother’s capacity for empathy. Rather than attend prom alone, Sara spends the weekend with Samira in Santa Cruz and has a great time.

A year later, Sara has a boyfriend, Slash, whom she adores. Sara is thrilled she has a date for prom and does not mind Slash’s eccentric attire. As she writes, “I was beginning to shed my insecurities. I cared less about what everyone else at our high school thought of me” (233). She is also happy to have some kissing experience before graduating from high school.

Sara and Slash continue to date in college. Sara is nervous about having sex because she grew up in a modest family. Her parents did not discuss sex with her except to say she was too young to have it. Still, her mother supports the idea of premarital sex, preferably when Sara is in her 20s. Sara and Slash have sex after their first year in college. Sara’s mother asks her whether she should know anything about her relationship with Slash, and Sara grows embarrassed, indicating she is sexually active. Sara’s mother gives her a stern lecture but implies she is ashamed of Sara. During their second year in college, Sara senses Slash is not interested in her and asks if he still loves her. When he replies no, she is devastated. Sara talks to her mom, who is shocked that Sara wants to stay with Slash. She tells her not to waste time on people who do not love her, and Sara gratefully accepts her advice and applies it to future relationships.

In a diary entry, Sara alludes to a dramatic fight between herself and her parents. The reason for the fight centers on Sara’s unhappiness over spending inordinate amounts of time in immigration offices applying for legal residency. Sara is frustrated with the process and its long lines, confusing rules, and endless paperwork. For instance, to renew her employment authorization card, every year Sara needs to wait outside INS at 6:00AM to get in line before the doors open at 9:00AM, only to be greeted by disdainful officials. Sara describes her emotional state as “illegal immigrant fatigue” and blames her parents, instead of the system, for putting her in this predicament (245). Rather than accept Sara’s complaints, her parents yell back, and Sara’s father claims he hates his life. The fight makes Sara realize her parents are human too, and she feels miserable for contributing to their stress and unhappiness.

The Saedis’ stress continues several more months as they frantically search for solutions to their immigration problems. It is critical for Samira to gain permanent residency before she turns 21 years old. The INS refers to this process as “aging out” (247), which means Samira will no longer be eligible for permanent residency through her parents’ application. The Saedis have already been waiting 15 years and are distressed at the thought of Samira having to start all over again. A few months shy of Samira’s birthday, the Saedis receive notification that their application is under consideration. To be granted an INS interview, which may take years, they need to undergo fingerprint checks and background clearance. Sara’s mother and Samira’s applications receive priority, and they are granted interviews, despite some intervening mishaps, before Samira’s birthday.

Two years later, Sara and her father receive their interviews and are granted permanent residency. It is now possible for Sara’s parents to apply for financial aid for Samira’s last year in college. As a green card holder, Sara needs to wait another five years before becoming an American citizen.

Sara writes about the fear and anxiety she felt as an undocumented immigrant. She also describes the uncertainty of the current political moment in the United States, as she wrote Americanized during Donald Trump’s presidency—a presidency that enacted many repressive measures against undocumented immigrants.

She shares a timeline of recent immigration practices in the United States, beginning with Ronald Regan’s presidency and the amnesty he provided undocumented immigrants in 1986. Sara next describes Barack Obama’s policies and his effort to pass legislation—like the 2012 Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) and Development, Relief, and Education for Alien Minors (DREAM) Act—that would keep undocumented families together. Obama also tried to implement the Deferred Action for Parents of Americans and Lawful Permanent Residents (DAPA) policy that would give undocumented immigrants work permits and safeguards against deportation. Ultimately, Congress failed to pass the DREAM Act, and the courts stymied the DAPA program. Meanwhile, in 2017, Trump rescinded DACA, leaving “700,000 young people in limbo” (255). Sara cites Trump’s racist and xenophobic travel bans and his zero-tolerance border policy that separated more than 2,000 children from their parents and placed them in detention centers.

Despite these inhumane developments, Sara offers hopeful advice for undocumented immigrants. She emphasizes the importance of not having a criminal record, the right to a fair hearing, finding an attorney, and never signing paperwork that is hard to understand because of language barriers. She also urges undocumented immigrants to not open their door for immigration enforcement officers unless they present a warrant. Finally, she highlights the ongoing work of community activists and how she and millions of other protestors are fighting for the better treatment of immigrants.

As a prelude to Sara’s swearing in ceremony in 2005 to become an American citizen at the age of 26, the chapter begins with an excerpt from the American oath of allegiance. She describes the carnivalesque atmosphere and the ambivalence she feels relinquishing her Iranian citizenship. She worries about letting her parents down by becoming “too American” and also feels uncomfortable when friends and coworkers exclaim, “‘You’re one of us now,’” implying that “being an American [is] better than being anything else” (264).

During the ceremony, Sara reads television scripts for work. In retrospect, she wishes she spent more time appreciating the moment. She worries she appeared ungrateful. When the nationality of each country is announced, Sara cheers for Iran and explains this is one of her favorite parts about the United States: “In that moment, being surrounded by a diverse group of ethnicities—all of us about to become citizens together—I realized that this is what I loved about America” (266). Sara reflects on other important moments in her life as an American citizen, such as voting in elections. She has learned not to take democracy for granted.

Sara ends the chapter by noting the difficult balancing act of being Iranian-American. One night, she eats rice with a fork, a practice she picked up from her American husband. Her father questions why she is not using a spoon, which Iranians typically use when eating rice. Sara realizes the metaphor of a “spork” fits her best, as she is “the combination of two worlds and cultures” (268).

The epilogue is a letter that Sara writes to a fictitious Iranian version of herself. She wonders what kind of life Iranian Sara might have lived. She thinks their personality traits would be similar—sassy and witty—but Iranian Sara would speak excellent Farsi, know how to cook Iranian food, and would probably have a nose job. She wonders if Iranian Sara would be less self-conscious about her appearance since Iranian culture sexualizes women less than American culture. She thinks Iranian Sara would have written more books since she would be wearing a headscarf and spending less time on her hair. Sara questions if their priorities would be different: Would Iranian Sara attend university or marry young? She believes Iranian Sara would have traveled more widely than herself because she could not leave the United States as an undocumented immigrant.

Sara also addresses the importance of the 2009 Green Movement in Iran. The Green Movement occurred in response to what many considered a rigged presidential election. Supporters of the progressive candidate took to the streets after the incumbent won a second term. While many protestors died, the Green Movement became “a lasting symbol of unity and hope” (271). Sara votes in the election in the United States as an Iranian national. After casting her ballot, she encounters a protest while driving home. A woman yells at her in Farsi, equating her participation in the election to supporting the Iranian regime. Sara pretends not to understand. As she writes to her fictional self: “While your country was in a political crisis and young people were getting shot at by the police, I was essentially passing for white” (272). Sara thinks about the Green Movement again when she votes in elections in the United States as an American citizen.

Sara wonders what it would be like to visit her grandmother’s grave in Iran and to walk the same streets her grandmother loved. She imagines meeting the Iranian version of herself and having a conversation in which they discuss their similarities and differences. Ultimately, she thinks they would find more commonalities than difference despite their divergent upbringings.

After the epilogue, Sara provides a brief chapter summarizing immigration policies in the United States and explains specific legal terms, like visitor’s visa and political asylum. She details the pathway her family took to receive their green cards and American citizenship and provides updates to immigration law. Sara reiterates the uncertainty of the political milieu under Trump’s administration and urges her readers to be empathetic regarding the tenuous situation of undocumented immigrants.