All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir

What mainstream ideas about adoption does Nicole push back against? How does her book present a more nuanced view of adoption?

Compare Nicole’s attitude toward transracial adoption to that of her adoptive parents. What are the differences between these two views? How did her adoptive parents’ views impact Nicole’s self-perception?

Discuss the relationship between motherhood and Nicole’s search for her birth parents. How did Nicole’s experiences as a transracial adoptee impact her approach to motherhood? How does the memoir grapple with the idea of familial ties more generally?

In what respects are the experiences of a transracial adoptee similar to that of a non-transracial adoptee? In what respects are they different? How and why?

Consider the role of writing, storytelling, and language in the memoir. What role do these elements play in shaping self-perception and identity?

Nicole writes, “If there’s something that everyone should know about adoption, it’s that there is no end to this. There’s no closure” (258). What is the significance of this statement? How does it relate to the memoir’s key themes?

Discuss Nicole’s struggle to reconcile the truth about her adoption with what she was told about her birth parents. How does she process the new information? How do these revelations change her views of adoption?

Nicole’s memoir shifts between timelines—one focusing on her childhood memories, the other focusing on her adult life. Nicole’s perspective dominates most of the book, save for sections of Part 3, which are told from Cindy’s perspective. Why might Nicole have made these narrative choices? What effect do these narrative choices have, and how do they illuminate aspects of the memoir?