A Dream Called Home

In the months after finishing college, Reyna moves in with Carlos, Norma, and their young daughter Natalia after returning from Mexico, promising she will only stay a month. However, she soon realizes how little she knows about publishing. Her courses at UCSC focused on the craft of writing. They did not teach her how to approach literary agents and publishers. Reyna scours the classifieds for work, only to come up empty handed. A college friend working as a teacher encourages her to apply for a job with the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD), but Reyna declines, insisting she wants to write.

By the summer’s end, Reyna is unemployed and broke, owing thousands in student loan debt. She feels badly for not contributing to Carlos’s household expenses, though he claims her help with Natalia is payment enough. She also misses Santa Cruz, especially the sense of community and the redwoods. Norma urges Reyna to apply for a job in a clothing store during a visit to the Pasadena Mall. Reyna protests, but Norma reminds her that the position is only temporary. The following week, Reyna starts her new job at the store, working side-by-side with high school students. Norma and Carlos tease Reyna for working for minimum wage. Reyna continues to write in this period, starting a second collection of short stories title, The Shopping Cart Chronicles, inspired by the homeless in East Los Angeles. 

In December, Reyna’s first student loan payment is due. With her debt weighing on her, she applies for a teaching job with the LAUSD, landing a position as a remedial English and ESL teacher at a middle school in South Central Los Angeles. Reyna recalls how close she and Mago used to be during a shopping trip for a work wardrobe. The rift between them began when Mago moved out of their father’s house and grew after Reyna left for university. Reyna misses their former closeness, but Mago’s priorities changed after becoming a mother. Reyna buys a new car to get to and from work, adding to her long list of debts.

Her first day on the job is challenging. Most of her students are Latinos with bad attitudes. Reyna reminds herself that support can make a difference in students’ lives and vows to make her classroom feel like a home. Despite her best intentions, the first day is a disaster. Reyna meets other teachers in the cafeteria who assure her the job gets easier. Reyna soon realizes how wrong they are. A visit to Ms. Hoang’s well-run classroom is an eye-opening experience. Ms. Hoang encourages Reyna to control her students with drills and humiliation, and by inviting their parents into the classroom. 

Reyna moves into her own apartment in Boyle Heights with her rescue kitten, Saudade. Although Reyna is pleased to have her own space, the apartment stretches her modest teaching salary. More important, teaching is so wearing that Reyna has little energy or desire to write. Reyna takes on more responsibilities at work, volunteering to teach students folklórico for a Cinco de Mayo event. Her confidence as a teacher grows when the students listen to her and work hard to master the dances. A student asks Reyna to form a permanent folklórico group. Reyna seeks help from a dance group in El Sereno where she meets Francisco, the codirector of the group. He gives her advice about how to start a folklórico group and offers to teach her dances. The private lessons end when they start having sex. Carlos and Mago disapprove of Reyna’s new relationship, claiming she can do better than Francisco, an older truck driver in the midst of a divorce. He also has four children with four different women.

Reyna’s birthday dinner sends her into a downward spiral. Carlos and Mago joke about who will pay, tossing the check back and forth until Reyna finally puts it on her credit card. She goes home with Francisco feeling more alone than ever. Her loneliness prompts her to forgive Francisco when he cheats on her. A bright spot in the relationship is Francisco’s spontaneity, particularly their impromptu trip to the Grand Canyon. 

Reveling in the joy Natalia brings Norma, Reyna wants to start a family. Moreover, she is deeply moved by the birth of Mago’s third child. Although Reyna craves the unconditional love of a child, her dreams of being a writer outweigh her desire to have a baby. She travels to Europe with Francisco, where she is struck by the beauty and familiarity of Madrid. The architecture and cobblestone streets remind her of Taxco, a town near Iguala. After two days of exploring, however, Francisco announces that his wallet was stolen, leaving a skeptical Reyna to pay for their expenses. The incident puts a damper on the rest of the trip. Reyna is too distracted by her dwindling bank account to enjoy the beauty of Venice, Rome, Pisa, and Paris. She ends her relationship with Francisco the moment they return to the US.

Weeks later, Francisco calls and offers to help find Saudade, who has gone missing. They find the cat running in an alley behind Francisco’s building, a mile away from Reyna’s apartment. Reyna suspects Francisco used her spare key to steal her cat to get back into her life. Despite her suspicions, they rekindle their relationship. Reyna learns she is pregnant soon after. She feels guilty for not taking her birth control pills and for saddling her unborn child with a deadbeat father. Mago suggests an abortion, but Reyna chooses to have the baby. She gives Francisco the news before breaking up with him once and for all.